BEWARE: JOYSELLE EXPRESS, INC CONDUCTOR

Takot pa rin ako hanggang ngayon... Sorry hindi ko nakwento kahapon kasi sobrang hindi ko pa talaga kaya. Baka magbreakdown ako dito sa production floor, nakakahiya. Tama na'ng mga teammates/friends ko ang nakakita na wala ako sa sarili ko pagdating ko ng office kahapon ng umaga. Akala nga nila na-rape ako o naholdap.

May nakaaway kasi akong kundoktor kahapon. Tawagin na lang natin siyang Mamang Ma'am. Hehehe. Basta ang mapapayo ko lang, magbayad na lang kayo ng sakto sa bus lalo na pag nakita ninyo itong kundoktor na ito sa Joyselle Express na mamang mukhang tibo ( actually feeling ko tibo talaga siya pero later na details...)

Sumakay ako ng Joyselle Express papunta sa office. Nagbayad ako ng P100,sabi ni Mamang Ma'am (MM) mamaya na daw ang sukli ko kasi puro P100 ang binayad ng karamihan. Eh nakita ko naman na totoo kaya ok lang. Binigyan ako ng tiket tapos tinago ko na sa bulsa ng bag ko. Hayun, Sunday ride -- ang daming tao. May nakaaway pa si MM na mama tapos minura siya dahil sa sukli, hindi na lang kumibo yung iba kasi hindi naman nila alam ang puno't dulo kaya dedma na lang kami. kaya enjoy lang ulit ng diretsong biyahe. . . . . pagdating sa Boni, tinanong ko si MM tungkol doon sa sukli ko..

MM: San ka sumakay?
me: Sa philcoa po.
MM: San ka bababa?
me: Sa Pasong Tamo po.
MM: mamaya na malayo ka pa naman.

So heto naman ako thinking na last akong bibigyan kasi akong yung pinakamalayo pang bababaan sa mga nagbayad ng P100.

Pagdating sa Ayala cor. Edsa, nakotongan sila ng mga pulis-Makati, sa tagal ko ng sumamsakay ng bus papunta ng office, eh never pang hinuli ang sinasakyan kong bus pag doon nagbababa ng pasahero dun e, Saka HELLO!!! Sunday at 5.40a.m.(JANUARY 28, 2007, LINGGO, 5.40AM), walang heavy traffic. naawa ako kay MM kaya bilang malasakit kinuha ko ang body at plate number ng mobile, oras ng pagkakahuli at saan. (nag-email na ako kay mayor!) Para hindi maulit, di ba?

Paglagpas ng Paseo de Roxas, saka palang ako nagkaroon ng chance na lumapit kay MM at ito na ang simula ng matinding bangungot ko...

me: ung sukli po sa P100?
MM: akin na ang tiket (binigay ko..)
tapos tinititigan lang niya tiket ko. eh naiinis na ako kasi malapit na ang babaan ko ano?!

At alam niyong ginawa nya?! tinupi niya ang tiket sabay sabing...

MM: hindi kita susuklian kasi walang marka ang tiket mo. Minamarkahan ko ang tiket na susuklian ko. Sa 'yo wala kaya hindi kita susuklian!! (sabay ipit ng tiket sa isa sa mga upuan!)

me: malay ko ho ba kung may marka yan o dapat nyong markahan? hindi ko naman trabaho yan para tingnan ko. (malapit na kong maiyak, shaky na ang voice ko)

MM: basta hindi kita susuklian. ako pa ang lolokohin mo.

since ang alam ko nga (at least ang tingin ko sa kanya eh,) tibo siya, tawag ko na sa kanya ma'am...

me: Ma'am P100 ang pera ko, P75 pa ho sukli ko tapos hindi niyo ibibigay sa akin. Hindi ho manloloko, edukado ho akong tao. Hindi ho ako manloloko.

MM: eh wala ngang marka yung tiket. Ako pa ang lolokohin mo. At walang Ma'am dito!!

me: Ma'am bababa na ako, dito na po ako bababa, ibigay ninyo na ang sukli ko.

MM: tingnan mo kung kelan ka na bababa saka mo hihingin tong sukli mo. Ayos ka rin 'no. Sinabi ng hindi ako ma'am. Gago!!

me: bakit ninyo ako minumura? hindi ninyo ko pinapakain.

sabay eksena na ang driver...

D: sige na ibigay mo na.

MM: kawawa naman tayo... (siyempre galit siya)
MM: o ayan, abuloy ko sa yo. Style mo bulok. Manloloko ka! (pababa na ako at hindi na ako makahinga sa sama ng loob)

**actually hanggang ngayon natatakot pa rin ako kahit kinukwento ko na lang. Grabe. naghintay talaga ako kanina ng MALTC na bus, hindi pa ako handang sumakay ulit doon. Nang kinuwento ko kay Ceasar, galit na galit talaga siya, pupuntahan na niya talaga yung opisina pero hanggang ngayon, wine-weigh ko pa kung anong tamang gawin at kung bakit mo pa gagawin ang isang bagay. Gusto sana nina Tetay, defamation, pero worth it pa ba yun? Ano ba ang maa-achieve ng paghahabol ko? Apology? Masisante si Mamang Ma'am? Ano ba? Iniisip ko pa, actually, tinitimbang ko pa kung anong mas mahalaga... ang pagkakapahiya ko sa harap ng mga tao o ang katotohanan na hindi ako manloloko? o ang katahimikan ng loob ko tuwing sasakay ako ng bus nila? o ang ipakita sa kanya na mali ang ginawa niya? Basta iniisip ko pa yun.

Kaya kayo, magbayad ng sakto lalo na sa umaga (hangga't kaya) tapos pag susuklian pa kayo lalo na't malaki ang bill, i-check niyo kung may marka at kung wala, itanong ninyo agad sa kundoktor kung paano nila matatandaan kung magkano isusukli nila. OK!!

Ciao.

big brunch with the girls!!

I was craving for pancakes with maple syrup. Ewan ko ba! Parang nakaamoy lang ako dito sa production floor.

Tetay, Tin and I had brunch at Jollibee Export Bank Plaza nang mag-queue empty na. I first had pancakes and hot chocolate. But when I saw Tin having spaghetti and macaroni soup (with pie!) tapos si Tetay having the Big Breakfast, dunno the real name for that. Inggit ako!!! Kaya after my dessert, order agad ng Crispy chicken burger with fries. But if you're fond of McChicken (the Sandwich), you'll stick to that kahit matikman mo yung Jollibee Crispy Chicken burger. I don't know -- may nutty taste eh (yoko talaga ng mani!), hindi masarap yung dressing (doesn't complement the patty) tapos ang veggies, hindi maayos ang pagkakalagay. Sana yung picture na lang yung totoo. Hehehe. Pero filling na rin. Heto busog pa ako... Parang hanggang dinner na yata'to (parang baka?!!)

Love, Deuce and Advantage

I watched the final game of the Australian Open Women's Division. It's the battle between Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova. I like Serena because she's a great tennis player. I have never seen her underestimate an opponent. She always plays with so much intensity, focus and determinatio. sometimes who will be the winner is out of the question. I like Maria Sharapova because she's beautiful and lady-like but very cunning in her strategies as well. At 19, she has a very promising career ahead of her.

That's why I was torn between the two greats yesterday when I watched them battle it out for the title. Sharapova is seeded as number 1 in the world, while Serena is unseeded as she has been inactive for more than a year (after the death of her sister in a shooting incident) and is ranked number 87.

It turned out that Maria was not in the game, not in her usual competitive mode. I saw her talking to herself, as if she's fighting some demons around her who sort of possessed her and not giving her a chance to play her game. The battle ended within an hour and 3 minute with a score: 2-6, 2-6. The commentators even mentioned that this was the easiest game Serena had in the whole open.

This is Serena's 3rd grand slam championship, now she is now among the greats like Navratilova, Stefi Graf and Martina Hingis (my ultimate crush in the Tennis World).

I believe Maria was almost on the verge of tears. I believe she knows that Serena took advantage of the unforced errors, double faults and faulty forehand and backhand shots she committed. But she was a great sport when she was asked by the emcee to give a few words. She even joked about her loss. I LOVE HER!!!

Serena was such a great champion, recognising the great potential of Sharapova. She entered the competition as an unseeded, ranked number 87 and left Australia at number 14.. WOW!! Love Tennis...

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala ...(Happy Tree Friends theme)

I just want to share one of the songs that I shared with my teammates at eBay UK. The theme for such songs started with Cacai, the baby of the team. I love this song the first time I heard and saw it in Myx. The song is realistic. It doesn't a bitter feel to it. The girl in the song is not in denial that she still loves the guy but is optimistic that she will get through this trying time.

For the people who have been hurt,

May you take this moment of grief, of loneliness, of pain as a blessing -- that you still feel... Let the tears flow and roll down your face. It's not bad to indulge in the bittersweet taste of love. But never let that pain kill your faith and your hope in love -- losing faith and hope in love means losing faith and love in God -- for God is the source of true love and happiness. We may never understand the purpose of such pain today but we will, in time. For God's loving hands continue to work, to prepare the perfect moment for you and your lifetime partner, God never stops working, but He is waiting for us to show him that we are ready. For the people who are in pain, just feel it and let it help you be stronger and better...

Someday (Nina)
Someday you’re gonna realize.
One day, you’ll see this through my eyes.
By then, I won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if I care.

I know you don’t really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well I’ve got news for you
though I’m not that strong
But it wont take long,
Wont take long.

Someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
You see I won’t even miss you
Someday, someday.

(I know, someone's
gonna be there.)

Right now I know you can tell
I’m down and I’m not doing well
But one day, these tears they will all run dry
I won’t have to cry,
sweet goodbye
Another song... Wala lang.. Hindi naman ako brokenhearted ngayon but I just like this song. I first heard this song sa Starstruck (current season, I'm not sure what batch). Kinanta ng apat na girls pero pinaka love kong performance yung kay Stef. Pretty with a pretty voice and good stage presence (Pinoy Pop Superstar judge?)

Irreplaceable (Beyonce)
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
If I bought it nigga please don't touch
And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time
And It's my mine name that is on that Jag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up on that chick and see if she is home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?
Cause you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby you dropped them keys hurry up before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard telling me
How I am such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

ANG TARAY, DI BA?

Last song for this blog...

Nagustuhan ko itong song na ito kasi it talks about freedom. It encourages speaking out, coz no one will do it for you. Alam ninyo naman ako..MEEK!!
Naririnig ko na 'to sa commercial ng Pantene. Pero I get to here the real beauty of the song nung pinatugtog ni Joycee sa office. Ayun, I'm hooked. Hindi ko pa rin kabisado pero keber.. Like ko ito...

Unwritten (Natasha Anne Bedingfield)

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

in the absence of my presence...

It's been a while...Na-miss ko 'to!! (ok kahit papaano) I was so hooked up finishing the two Agatha Christie Jane Marple mysteries that I borrowed from Mau's baby sister, Rochelle (Bing to most of us). Grabe!! Hindi pa rin kumukupas si Manang Agatha, ganda talaga ng pagkakasulat at pagkakapresent ng mga events. Mas nagustuhan ko nga lang yung "What Mrs McGillicuddy saw" kasi the case was opened in an unorthodox way. Like the witness was not even connected with the suspect or the victim. Basta astig. Tapos yung mystery ng human nature, how somehow it boils down to deprivation, to blame, to hatred then to murder (be it accidental or premeditated). Hindi ko pa nga natatapos yung Sybil pero go agad ako kay Agatha, tagal ko na rin kasing hindi nakakabasa ng aklat niya. Ang hirap kasing hanapin ngayon sa Recto ang mga works niya. Anyway, since I am through reading Agatha Christie, I'm now back to Sybil.

Why did it take me so long to write another blog? Medyo busy-busyhan. (ahem) Last time, ang nabanggit ko, mag-eexam sis ko sa PUP right? Bad news, my sister didn't pass the UPCAT exam. I don't know if my sister knows but I just don't have the guts to tell her. Not that she badly wants to study there, but I just felt that it would be a great sense of achievement for her. (Stage ate??!!) I just hope she makes it to PUP, because this is where she really wants to study. Haay!! Mega worry na naman ako. As you know, ok kung sa PUP siya, alam ninyo bang P12 per unit lang doon?!! Tapos hindi na aabot ng libo ang miscellaneous fees?!! Eh di makakatipid na si Ate, makakaipon na ako ng pambili ng videocam at PC... Libre lang mangarap.

Check out: http://www.pup.edu.ph/admissions/fees.asp

Ok ang quality ng education dun kasi state university yun eh. Kaso paano kung hindi? Pero malabo din na hindi pero worst case scenario?? I know you're wondering why I am so worried about this. But this is my promise to my mom that once my sister's in college, she doesn't have to worry about anything. AND I WANT TO FULFILL THAT PROMISE!!! Because I have been a bad daughter, I want to make it up to my mom and my dad. Haay!! Pressure!! Good thing, Ceasar's there to back me up. Give me the courage and the confidence that I can do it -- WE CAN DO IT!! (Romantic 'no?) Shucks!!! (blushing..)

After the exam, we went to Gate 1 of Manila Pier, to visit Doulos, the floating bookstore. (naalala ko si Manong Tanod dun sa sakayan ng mga jeep sa Pier, nakataxi kasi kami kasi hindi namin alam Safest way na magmukhang tanga, nakataxi ka! Kaso si manong Tanod nainis sa amin, hindi namin siya ma-gets. MALAMANG!! Kung alam ba namin, magtatanong pa ba kami? KUMUSTA NAMAN!!!?) Once there, megalakad kasi sobrang trafik tapos PILA.... PILA.... PILA.... PILA.... PILA.... PILA.... PILA.... (teka UP na ba ito?) It took us 2 1/2 hours waiting in line before we actually went aboard the ship and looked for books. By the time we were on the ship, we don't have the strength to move any muscle to search for the books we like. It'll be a disappointment if you think that you'll find in Doulos the books that you've been wanting to buy at National Bookstore, Powerbooks or Fully Booked at the cheapest price. Because it's likely that you WON'T kasi WALA!! Dictionaries, christian/catechism books (at they are spreading the word of God), cook books and great reference books from McGraw-Hill and Glencoe Publications. May novels din pero never heard dito sa Philippines ang mga novelits kaya I didn't take the risk to buy one.

What's nice about Doulos is that this is a haven for public schools. Why? Because they have this promo... Sa Ukay-ukay section ng Doulos, if you buy a Doulos katsa bag (take note: walang tatak ng DOULOS--- blanko) for 300pesos you'll get 3 books of your choice. I was able to buy 2 bags so I now have 1 book for basic English, 1 book for Economics, 2 books for basic High School Mathematics and 2 books for French learning -- for only 600 pesos at lahat hardbound and bago!!! So kung ang DepEd nag-alot ng 100,000 pesos, meron ng 10,000 reference books na mabibili na pwedeng ibigay at ibahagi sa maraming Public schools!! Imagine!!! Sana kinuha nila ang pagkakataon na yun. Still, I went home a happy bunny. :p

Kumain pala ulit kami ni Ceasar sa Javi's (Sikatuna Village). The home of refillable iced tea, affordable yummy steaks, jalapeño cheese fingers and friendly service. Wala lang.. Galante si Sir, nagyaya after work, ayun.. P300 pwede na, kasama na pamasahe doon ha? Yummy pero namp&%@#! sira na naman ang vow kong mag-diet. Fine! Healthier nga ang iced tea kesa sa beer pero pag nakapito ka nang large glasses of iced tea, healthy pa ba yun? :) Sabi nga ni Edgran, bakit parang ako daw ang nalalasing at ang kulit ko daw?!!! heheheh

Last week, busy week kasi tumulong ako sa pag-organise ng thoughts ni Ceasar, dami niya kasing pinagkakaabalaha: business, school, banda at turo.. Haay!! Ayun ang loko, hilong talilong. kaya pag naglalaro siya ng PS2 sa buong time na magkasama kami, hinahayaan ko na ang bata, dun lang daw siya nakakapag-unwind. Kawawa naman, eh. Haay..

dishwalla moment: Angels or Devils

Angels or Devils - Dishwalla

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside
I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time
the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold
this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see
well I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time
the angels they burn inside for us
and are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us
if I were to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
it could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

**this has been my favorite song these past couple of weeks. I don't know why. I mean, I'm not sad or depressed. In fact, I am happy and grateful to be so blessed to have my boyfriend in my life, making me feel loved and encouraging me to be the best that I can be. I just love the feeling of surrender, of actually saying something with the intention of doing, of the strength of giving up but still making that person that you'll always be there -- understanding the person, loving the person, being one with the person's feelings and thoughts. (**Thanks, teddy bear, for sharing with me this song!)

aching but working

I wasn't feeling well when I woke up this morning. Felt like not coming to work, but thought better ... 600++ din mababawas sa sweldo ko 'no? (Lapit pa naman prom ng sis ko, daming bibilhin, tapos Valentine's Day at monthsary namin ni Chachiez... parang hindi ako makakagalaw kung wala akong pera.) So, I went to work. I answered emails for over 2 hours, (queue empty na!! Yahoo!) finished reading "The Summons" (finally!!) and now doing my blog just to kill time.

We are going to have our team photo shoot today, hopefully all of us will still look normal -- praying that I will still look like I'm alive since I'm really not feeling well. Hehehehe... In 2 weeks time, makikita na namin ang mga mukha namin sa tarpaulin na nakakabit sa wall ng production floor. Does this mean that we are 2 months away from regularization? 15-day paid leaves? a salary increase? Sana naman... :)

I'm very disappointed with the how the story went in John Grisham's The Summons. Far from my favorite John Grisham work, The Partner. The denouement encouraged more questions rather than the usual "yun pala yun!". Makes me wanna ask the brother more on the whys and hows of his actions. Kalungkot naman. Feeling ko minadali yung pagkakagawa ng book. Wala lang. **Thanks, Tetay.

On Wednesday, Ceasar and I are going to watch "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros" at the UP Film Center. It's our monthsary date. Hwehehe. But this time, it'll be more fun because we will watch it with our friends, Dan (brod ni Ceasar), Mia (Dan's girlfriend), Nini (anak-anakan namin ni Ceasar) and Norecil (ate ni Nini at girlfriend ng gitarista namin na si Gerard). Kaya excited na ako. I haven't seen the film, but have been wanting to see it, wala lang talagang chance. At least ngayon, lapit lang.

Exam na pala ng sister ko sa Sunday sa PUP. Ako yung mas kinakabahan para sa kanya. Feeling ko ako yung maiiyak, ako yung mas masaya pag makapasa siya. Haay!! Sana bigyan ako ng lakas. Lapit na rin lumabas ang resulta sa UP, sana makapasa siya. Wala lang...

Nawala yung sama ng pakiramdam ko. Hilamos lang pala ang katapat at gamot. Wahehehehe.

Hopefully, I'll get a decent sleep tonight. Bumabalik na yung sakit ko eh. I'm easily stressed out when I lack sleep.

But then again, ER and Judging Amy night...

The Art of Letting Go

**wala lang.. tamang senti mga girls dito sa ATO Reactive.

I realised that so many things have been happening in the lives of my teammates, and I have no idea what they are ALL about. It's not that I care less or don't care at all, I just don't feel comfortable prying on other people's lives. I do want to know what's going on and I want to be there for them. But first, I want them to know that I want to... I just don't know how...So here!

**This is my share.

The Art Of Letting Go

Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I'd keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more?
How do you leave it in a drawer?

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more
Wish I could open up that door

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through
the pain of one more day
Without you

Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I'm learning, only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

2nd Rest Day...NO REST AT ALL

Saturday... my temples are throbbing, I'm awake but my eyes are still aching for another couple of hours of sleep. But I need to start my day ASAP so I can sleep early that night.

ITINERARY FOR SATURDAY:

1. Go to Recto, get the books that I ordered. (Sybil and Sidney Sheldon's Are You Afraid of the Dark?)
2. Go to Timog for my appointment with my Dermatologist
3. Drop by at National Bookstore to file for the renewal of my Laking National Card. (true!)
4. Grocery! Grocery! Grocery! (Yipee!!)

(oh, I almost forgot.. Have lunch?! hehe)

Arrived in Recto around 11.30am, can't wait to see MY books. I know, a lot of people don't share my passion for these wonderful wonders but buying books is one of the reasons why I am always anxious to get my salary. This time, it's Sybil, one book that I know is no longer reprinted. I bought this book for P300. Before it was for sale for P600 and this is a second-hand book. I had to beg Myrna (bookseller) to make it cheaper someday, since lagi naman akong bumibili sa kanya. (Ung 4 kong Harry Potter Hardbound books, sa kanya ko binili at P500 each and other great novels)Guess, I have proven my worth to get this for 300 smackaroos.

**sidetrip -- "Sybil" is a book about a woman named Sybil who has 13 personalities. I haven't read this one, but when I read the Table of Contents of this book, it sent chills deep down. There's a chapter describing the hierarchy of the "selves", their birth and history. (**will tell you more about it soon.)
This is a true story.

I also bought a brand new Sidney Sheldon's "Are you Afraid of the Dark?" for P250. I am so excited because the last time I bought a Sidney Sheldon book was last October, my dream novel, Sands of Time; this book is said to be used by professors in psychology classes today. (Curiosity got the better of me, so I bought it.)

I missed my appointment with my dermatologist, since I need to be at home by 4pm (para sa Wish ko lang. Heheheh, kaya sa susunod na sweldo na lang. c",)) So I just went straight to SM North Edsa to have my Laking NAtional Card (LNC) renewed and buy food.

Had lunch at 3.30pm. Grabe, hilong-hilo na ko.

Went home, read "The Summons" and cried my heart out watching "Wish Ko Lang" Waaaah!! Nakakabilib ang mga bata... Ang lalim na ng pagmamalasakit sa pamilya, kahit para sa kanila na ang bagay na natatanggap nila, ibinabahagi pa rin nila. Haaay.

:'c

busy as a bee

Just came from my off which didn't feel like it. On my 1st rest day, I laundered my clothes, cleaned the refrigerator and took care of the mistakes made on the flyers. Tried to grab a couple of hours of sleep, but I never had the chance as there were a lot of people who came and went who somehow needed something from me.

Plus, my cousin kept texting me, trying to convince me to watch their gig in Timog. I really want to come and give him and his band my support, as I know how it feels coz I've been there - my bandmates have been there... It's just that I was so tired to really go out and have fun.

My boyfriend and I had dinner -- fried luncheon meat and delicious Nido soup (my favorite!!) around 6.30pm while watching the news. After having dinner and watching the news, I continued reading "The Summons" and my boyfriend played NBA Live in his PS2. Shoot!! An omen that this is going to be a boring evening. Hohumm.

Good thing, my bestfriend, Edgran dropped by around 9.30pm. We decided to go to our favorite hang-out in Sikatuna Village -- JAVI'S!! It's a bummer that I already had dinner, so I don't have an excuse to order a porterhouse steak meal. Instead, we ordered Crispy Sizzling sisig (yummy!), Jalapeño Cheese fingers (yummier but super spicy) and sour cream fries (ahhhh, this is the life!) with beer (for Ceasar and Gran) and refillable iced tea (for me!! --Ha! is this my day or what?!)

Then, a great conversation drowned the night, til we realised it's already 2am. We went to Philcoa to pick up JB and we went to our place. We decided to hit the sack when JB and Gran went home to go to Rain's place.

I was really tired. What seemed to be a boring and tiring day turned out to be a day that ended with a great night with friends...

:)

The day before my RD

**this is my last day for this week, it's my day off tomorrow, Friday and Saturday. I feel like I've been passive to the people around me today since I am sleepy the moment I woke up this morning. I can't wait to get home, lay in bed, read finish the book,"The Summons" by John Grisham (Tetay, thank you and sorry for making your book stay with me this long.) and sleep for hours!! Ha!

Hopefully, in the weeks to come, I'll give you some personal reviews on books that I've read or bought. Also, past experiences that will haunt me and my days every now and then. Sounds crazy, but they do. I sometimes find myself crying my heart out to my boyfriend for things that I've accepted, will not change.

Like this one...

I know that I have a great childhood because I was oblivious to things that happened in my family and around me or I was made to be oblivious to them. But now that I am all grown-up, I realised that I have so many things to say to my mom, my dad, my aunties, my brother, my titas, my sister --- but I was made to believe that I should not feel such emotions as I will disappoint a lot of them. Only to find out in the end that I can actually feel them and it's not bad because feeling such things is a giant step towards healing. Maybe that's why I kept looking back to the past or it's the past that kept haunting me because I never fully recovered because I never truly faced them. Hmmm, thinking about changing this situation -- meaning telling these feelings to their face, I'm not sure if they can actually handle them --the bottled-up anger, hidden insanity and frustration, regrets, blame and hopes that never found their way out.

In the coming weeks, I'll be more specific as they come.

But for now, I'm tired, exhausted and sleepy.

hoohhuuuummm...

zzzzzzzzzzzz............

not in the mood

**no decent sleep since Friday

**I fell asleep on the bus on my way to work

**my back is aching.

**queue empty at 10am

**nothing to read, left my book at home

**no emails to send

**eating is a chore

**good thing, I got a good CSAT score for the 3rd week of December :)

**a quiet production floor for ATO Reactive (morning shift)

**heard Olekeki snoring (peace!)

**I miss my boyfriend

**wonder what and where will eat this Friday

**can't wait to visit MV Doulos

**can't wait to see "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros"

**my head aches, have to wear my glasses

**remembered I have bills to pay next week

**need to pick up my reserved books in Recto next week

**I miss my bed and my 4 pillows

**I missed watching the ER rerun last night, must watch it tonight if I'm still awake

**I need to have my Laking National card renewed next week

**this is such a lousy day

hohummmmm...

zzzzzzzzzzz.....

TRUTH, will you set me free?

Looking at my blog, I suddenly asked myself two questions: "Am I ready to face the truth?" and "Am I ready to face the people who will know the truth?"

I want to let everything out (ok, not everything! there are things that better kept private, but I know you know what I mean.) but I am afraid of what the truth brings. I'm not sure if I have isolated my life's truth to the world -- or if this is the first time I will be truthful in a long time -- or if I still know the difference between truth and lies -- TOO MANY IFs FOR TRUTH BUT I MYSELF DON'T KNOW IF I'M READY FOR IT!!!

But there is one thing I need and want to promise myself --- I will DO MY BEST to be as TRUTHFUL as I CAN BE.

I feel better just thinking about it...

Land of the Loving

Land of the Loving

Deep in your eyes is a promise
Love can be ours if we want it
Starting tonight, every dream I vere knew
Here in your arms I'm believing
Finally, my life has a meaning of its own
Here in the land of the loving, I am home

I was alone in the city
Searching for someone to find me
Cold empty nights and a million strangers'eyes
Here in your arms I'm beginning
To leave behind all the loneliness I knew
Here in the land of the loving, there is you

In this simple room,
Magic is made, though the world seems unchanged
Leave the lights on, I'm a little afraid,
This might be just a sweet dream

Deep in the night love is growing
Though I had no way of knowing
That when I found you, I found everything I need
Here in your arms, I'll be staying
Finally my life won't be living all alone
Here in the land of the loving, I am home

**this is one of my favorite love songs of all time -- Land of the Loving by David Benoit. I sang this at my Kuya Cromwell's wedding -- his song for his wife, Ate Lhee.

This song reminds me that someday you'll find the right person for you -- to share your triumphs and defeats with -- he/she may not be perfect but he/she is the person where God's love and promises come true. (eeew, mushy!!)

what's in a name?

My name is Jennyvie, to me, a disastrous version of Genevieve (thanks to my Dad). According to the legend, I was supposed to be christened as either Patricia or Carrie Lizbeth. Bummer, huh?

Moving on... I am known to most people as Jen. Not too feminine, just right, couldn't be mistaken for a guy, but not to be interpreted as weak or gullible. My nickname sort of masks who I am.

An angel once called me Yvie, even until I decided to leave the protection of his wings. I thought I would fall in love with someone who treated me differently, but it wasn't meant to be. It was destined that he calls me Yvie. It was destined that he is the angel who will remind me of the endless possibilities life and love has to offer. But we're not destined to be together. (try ko lang i-share sa susunod)

So, where did IENI come from? Ieni is the Hawaiian name for Jen or Jenny.

I found that this is the Hawaiian translation for my nickname when Cai, one of my teammates (ATO Reactive), decided to have Hawaiian Christmas last year. We were supposed to wear hula skirts or summer dresses, put up a Hawaiian Christmas and make each stations exclusive for each one of us with our Hawaiian names posted.

What's in a name? Stories, memories, possibilities...

So, there! IENI...

Finally...

Finally, I have a blog. Yup, it's seems like it's a big deal for me, coz I'm not techie, as it is quite ironic that I am working for eBay UK (email support).

Why do I need a blog? Hmmm, let me see. Seriously, I don't know. I just felt like having one. A venue for me to be in touch with myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences. I hope people won't get me wrong in saying this, but sometimes, I get tired of talking to and being around people. Hey, I do love being around people since this is always a chance for me to learn more, widen my horizon and be a better person. But sometimes... well, most of the time, I just want to be alone, be silent, reflect and listen to myself. Better, read a good book until I fall asleep.

'Guess, blogs help you think and reflect of what happens in your life, without the buzz of people around you who have judgments and, perhaps, unsolicited advices.

May this be the start of my life where I will be able to say, "Finally, I have been honest with myself, with the world watching."