I went to church to attend mass for the first time in a very long time and I'm glad I did. The priest gave a good homily. No politics, no socio-economic problems mentioned. It was all about what the new tomorrow brings -- hope, opportunity and freedom.
For years, after the incident that almost cost me my life and my family, I've been contented in communicating with God through prayers. I feel unworthy being in His "presence", that I never felt comfortable to any church at all.
Attending the mass yesterday was the first of hopefully, many visits I will make. I am grateful God gave me the strength to overcome my doubt, guilt and fears. The homily confirmed the path I am taking and I am thankful that He continues to guide me in everything I do.
I went home with peace and gratitude in my heart. I can feel my mom smiling down at me. As a devout Catholic, she wanted me to go back to church, but as my mom, she understood why I couldn't take that step then. Now, I did it. I hope she's a little happier.
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My newfound peace was challenged and I failed...
I know I admitted in one of my latest entries that I am unhappy and that I still remember the people who were responsible for this, but that doesn't mean I spend most of my waking moments here at work looking for a way to get even with them. I am doing a great job believing that they no longer exist and am now used to the fact that their feelings no longer matter to me.
But this one - she's really pushing me to the limit. She still takes things personal and she uses her position to make things go her way. She was successful in making most people believe that she was the victim and now she's on the loose again.
Looking back, I still feel sad that our relationship ended up from being something to nothing. I no longer consider her a person who can be trusted and respected. I have nothing for her except disgust and disbelief when she does something directed to me.
I understand she's concern about her agents meeting their stats but that doesn't mean she should directly blame my short visits to my former teammates' stations to be the reason. Did she not consider other factors leading to such results?
Kapag kayo ang nakikinabang, ayos lang na baluktutin ang mga patakaran dito. Pero pag nasa katwiran naman ang mga hiling ng ahente, kahit umiyak nang dugo, hindi ninyo pagbibigyan at kukwestyunin nyo pa ang pagpapahalaga nito sa trabaho.
Katulad ng nangyari sa kaibigan ko. Inabutan siya ng malakas na ulan nung paluwas na siya ng Maynila galing sa probinsya niya nung off niya. Tumawag siya at hiniling na kung pwede i-adjust yung schedule niya dahil siguradong mahuhuli siya sa pagpasok dahil baha sa mga kalsadang dadaaanan niya. Hindi ninyo pinagbigyan, kaya pinili na lang niyang hindi pumasok so he filed for an EL. Nagkaroon ng usapan kung kelan ba pwedeng magpaayos ng schedule at ang nakuha pa ng kaibigan ko, sermon dahil hindi siya naging propesyonal. Yun ang pananaw ng mga taong ito sa situwasyon na yon at hindi ko kokontrahin yun kasi opinyon nila yun.
Ngayon, nung sila na ang magpapakain kasi naubos na ang emails, o dahil galing sila sa bakasyon at gusto nilang magkuwento, binabago nila agad yung schedule and punches to accommodate these. Nice one!
So now she told my friend that she (my friend) should stop talking to me while answering emails because she's not meeting her metrics and she warned my friend by saying she doesn't want it to reach the point where she will have to talk to me about this because I am now under a different supervisor.
Since when did she ever have the guts to talk to me? Please!!!! Whatever her real intentions and reasons are for making a big deal out of my short visits, I hope it's making her really happy. After all, she couldn't expect others to give her that because I don't think there's anyone at work who genuinely likes her. We used to but things have CHANGED. I can never bring someone into my life who breathes lies, hypocrisy and deception. I prefer spend my time with people who may not be perfect or SOFT-SPOKEN but who at least have the decency to be honest about who they are and their feelings. I don't want to spend my time watching my back. Plus I don't want to be around a person so sensitive that I have to watch every word I say with fear that I might offend her in the simplest remarks I make.
I've always been good follower but I am no all goody-two-shoes. I am giddy (or so Vayie says) but I get angry too. I fight back when I need to. I speak up when I feel someone is being stubborn. I can also be cruel and disrespectful, you know.
If she wants to be respected, she should be brave enough to be honest, be decent enough to be professional and be honest & responsible enough to admit mistakes and shortcomings. If she can't do any of these, she should stay out of my business and out of my way. Actually, I just want her out of my life - she's miserable and she finds joy in making others as miserable as her.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
CHANGE TOPIC! (Whew..) I only slept for 3 hours after I came home from work. I had to wake up around lunchtime because we will be visiting my dad.
We had lunch at Dada's place to celebrate Easter together and because my Dad will leave again for Albay for a job he took after his early retirement. We had beef caldereta, fried galunggong, bicol express and laing. It was a yummy feast, thanks to my Dad and Tita Liza.
I already felt sleepy after eating but the afternoon heat is too overwhelming for a power nap. I had no choice but to watch the ASAP'08 reruns. Watching the show for almost two hours, I realised how much I like Sarah Geronimo, Shaina Magdayao, Maja Salvador, Nikki Gil, Iya Villania and Toni Gonzaga; Piolo Pascual, Rayver Cruz and Billy Crawford that much and that I find them nakakaaliw.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I'm not feeling well. Migraine and acid peptic disease. Been to the clinic three times, still no sign of the nurse. *sigh
For years, after the incident that almost cost me my life and my family, I've been contented in communicating with God through prayers. I feel unworthy being in His "presence", that I never felt comfortable to any church at all.
Attending the mass yesterday was the first of hopefully, many visits I will make. I am grateful God gave me the strength to overcome my doubt, guilt and fears. The homily confirmed the path I am taking and I am thankful that He continues to guide me in everything I do.
I went home with peace and gratitude in my heart. I can feel my mom smiling down at me. As a devout Catholic, she wanted me to go back to church, but as my mom, she understood why I couldn't take that step then. Now, I did it. I hope she's a little happier.
My newfound peace was challenged and I failed...
I know I admitted in one of my latest entries that I am unhappy and that I still remember the people who were responsible for this, but that doesn't mean I spend most of my waking moments here at work looking for a way to get even with them. I am doing a great job believing that they no longer exist and am now used to the fact that their feelings no longer matter to me.
But this one - she's really pushing me to the limit. She still takes things personal and she uses her position to make things go her way. She was successful in making most people believe that she was the victim and now she's on the loose again.
Looking back, I still feel sad that our relationship ended up from being something to nothing. I no longer consider her a person who can be trusted and respected. I have nothing for her except disgust and disbelief when she does something directed to me.
I understand she's concern about her agents meeting their stats but that doesn't mean she should directly blame my short visits to my former teammates' stations to be the reason. Did she not consider other factors leading to such results?
Kapag kayo ang nakikinabang, ayos lang na baluktutin ang mga patakaran dito. Pero pag nasa katwiran naman ang mga hiling ng ahente, kahit umiyak nang dugo, hindi ninyo pagbibigyan at kukwestyunin nyo pa ang pagpapahalaga nito sa trabaho.
Katulad ng nangyari sa kaibigan ko. Inabutan siya ng malakas na ulan nung paluwas na siya ng Maynila galing sa probinsya niya nung off niya. Tumawag siya at hiniling na kung pwede i-adjust yung schedule niya dahil siguradong mahuhuli siya sa pagpasok dahil baha sa mga kalsadang dadaaanan niya. Hindi ninyo pinagbigyan, kaya pinili na lang niyang hindi pumasok so he filed for an EL. Nagkaroon ng usapan kung kelan ba pwedeng magpaayos ng schedule at ang nakuha pa ng kaibigan ko, sermon dahil hindi siya naging propesyonal. Yun ang pananaw ng mga taong ito sa situwasyon na yon at hindi ko kokontrahin yun kasi opinyon nila yun.
Ngayon, nung sila na ang magpapakain kasi naubos na ang emails, o dahil galing sila sa bakasyon at gusto nilang magkuwento, binabago nila agad yung schedule and punches to accommodate these. Nice one!
So now she told my friend that she (my friend) should stop talking to me while answering emails because she's not meeting her metrics and she warned my friend by saying she doesn't want it to reach the point where she will have to talk to me about this because I am now under a different supervisor.
Since when did she ever have the guts to talk to me? Please!!!! Whatever her real intentions and reasons are for making a big deal out of my short visits, I hope it's making her really happy. After all, she couldn't expect others to give her that because I don't think there's anyone at work who genuinely likes her. We used to but things have CHANGED. I can never bring someone into my life who breathes lies, hypocrisy and deception. I prefer spend my time with people who may not be perfect or SOFT-SPOKEN but who at least have the decency to be honest about who they are and their feelings. I don't want to spend my time watching my back. Plus I don't want to be around a person so sensitive that I have to watch every word I say with fear that I might offend her in the simplest remarks I make.
I've always been good follower but I am no all goody-two-shoes. I am giddy (or so Vayie says) but I get angry too. I fight back when I need to. I speak up when I feel someone is being stubborn. I can also be cruel and disrespectful, you know.
If she wants to be respected, she should be brave enough to be honest, be decent enough to be professional and be honest & responsible enough to admit mistakes and shortcomings. If she can't do any of these, she should stay out of my business and out of my way. Actually, I just want her out of my life - she's miserable and she finds joy in making others as miserable as her.
CHANGE TOPIC! (Whew..) I only slept for 3 hours after I came home from work. I had to wake up around lunchtime because we will be visiting my dad.
We had lunch at Dada's place to celebrate Easter together and because my Dad will leave again for Albay for a job he took after his early retirement. We had beef caldereta, fried galunggong, bicol express and laing. It was a yummy feast, thanks to my Dad and Tita Liza.
I already felt sleepy after eating but the afternoon heat is too overwhelming for a power nap. I had no choice but to watch the ASAP'08 reruns. Watching the show for almost two hours, I realised how much I like Sarah Geronimo, Shaina Magdayao, Maja Salvador, Nikki Gil, Iya Villania and Toni Gonzaga; Piolo Pascual, Rayver Cruz and Billy Crawford that much and that I find them nakakaaliw.
I'm not feeling well. Migraine and acid peptic disease. Been to the clinic three times, still no sign of the nurse. *sigh
