totally random stuff

I’ve not been feeling well since yesterday. I thought it was just because I’ve been lacking sleep for the past week, so I tried to get as much sleep as I could over the weekend but it got worse. I found that it’s PMS and acid peptic disease combined. Greeeat! I need to feel better tonight, I don’t want to be absent from work tomorrow. I badly needed to improve my metrics since I now feel the need to find better opportunities in the office. What with Vayie and Tin leaving, reality is starting to sink in. I am happy that I am still under Mitch’s supervision. She may not be the perfect supervisor but at least, I can be open with her about any work-related concerns. I just don’t want to wait for the time when I will have to deal with another drastic change – a new team or a new supervisor (worse, a new schedule) which can be stressful on my part since I like making plans.

Our team had our picture taken today with Tetay as our willing photographer. I don’t know what that’s for nor do I care. I’m just being a good follower and I hope it’s enough for them. No one's forcing me to get along with my new teammates. I know they are a good bunch but I really take a lot of time to warm up to people so I hope no one’s going to force the issue.

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Ever since Vayie left, I’ve been seating on the ATO Reactive bay. It’s my little way of dealing with the sadness – being with Tetay, Khim and Tin – makes me feel a little less sad every day. I’m thankful that Mitch does not mind me staying there. I really feel the need to stay around people close to me, to keep me from “being insane”, to still give me enough reason to stay. I also found a less reason to dislike J since she has not made an issue about me staying in their bay.

Being with Tetay and Khim (since Tin has already left the company) brings great comfort. I don’t feel the need to always talk to them. Their presence and even their silence are enough reason to make me look forward to come work everyday. It’s also nice to listen to their stories without the need to always “react” without the fear of being misinterpreted. I just love being around them!

However, Mitch asked us yesterday to sit by the bay near her station. I don’t mind, so long as I can be with Tetay and Khim almost every day. Cacai also started hanging out with us more often than usual since she’s so gaga over their wedding preparations. She’s almost close to deciding what theme their wedding will revolve around and I think we’re doing a fine job helping her out. =)

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Last Friday, June 19th, I got a call from my college professor. I was so surprised to get an offer from her – a full-time teaching job in a college in Quezon City. Oh, how I would love to have that job, but I couldn’t accept the offer (they needed confirmation the same day) since there are so many things to consider before leaving the company. With a heavy heart, I had to turn the offer down. I didn’t even have the courage to ask for the details (compensation, benefits, schedule, etc.) because I’m afraid. Yes, I am afraid. Call me a coward, but I still don’t have the guts to take the risk or to make a change – not now, not yet.

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I just finished reading the Twilight Saga for the fourth time. I also started reading another book (e-book) about vampires, entitled, “Dead Until Dark”, the first of the seven books about the life and love (?) of Sookie Stackhouse with a vampire.

The ability to read minds was shown to be a blessing and a curse in these books. I often wonder how this power can affect the relationships I have with the people in my life and around me. If I ask my friends this question:

If I were able to read your thoughts about me, do you think I would still want you to be my friend?

Would I get comforting answers? Would I get an HONESTanswer? Would I find the answers unsettling that I will start doubting the friendship I share with the people I consider special in my life?

Maybe that’s why God didn’t give all of us that power because there are some things better left unsaid. I think, we all managed to be happy at some point in our lives on a need-to-know basis. We can never truly measure a person’s love based on honesty alone. Of course, I don’t like the thought of being lied to. In spite of the fact that we can never be 100% sure that a person has been really truthful in a certain situation, we still find it in our hearts to take a person’s word as truth at a particular moment, because in the end, what matters most is the trust that we have for that person and the faith we have for the relationship we have for them.

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You should try reading Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels. The plot is interesting but beware Twilight fans, you might find the vampire in the story not as endearing as our beloved Edward. Bill, the vampire/love(?) interest of Sookie, can sort of give you the impression that he is, um, horny and a little rough (ends up biting Sookie when he’s coming). This is to prevent yourselves from being disappointed. I was, at first, and the “vulgar” words can be overwhelming, most especially when you still have a hang-over from Edward’s sweet nothings to Bella.

I think it’s more action-packed and sexual than romantic but it’s alright. The book caught my attention and that’s a start.

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You should try Andok’s soft ice cream. It’s yummy and it doesn’t have the “medicine” after-taste. Khim made me try it and I’m glad she did, because the ice cream made me happy. Ha!

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Tetay, Tin, Khim and I decided to hold a mid-year wish list party (before Tin left the company). We will call it the Anti-Resignation Mid-year Wish List Party. Our traditional wish list party usually takes place before Christmas but since we’ll never know who will be leaving the company next, we think it’s appropriate to find time to spend time together while we are still in touch with one another.

I know Revo, Dahl, Resty, Spawn and Joel would love to spend time with us again, but it’s understandable why they can’t attend our gatherings because of their respective lives and jobs. That is why we feel the urgency to have this special party. I have yet to think of the details to make this wish list more special. Hopefully, I’ll finish this before the end of the month.

totally random stuff

I’ve not been feeling well since yesterday. I thought it was just because I’ve been lacking sleep for the past week, so I tried to get as much sleep as I could over the weekend but it got worse. I found that it’s PMS and acid peptic disease combined. Greeeat! I need to feel better tonight, I don’t want to be absent from work tomorrow. I badly needed to improve my metrics since I now feel the need to find better opportunities in the office. What with Vayie and Tin leaving, reality is starting to sink in. I am happy that I am still under Mitch’s supervision. She may not be the perfect supervisor but at least, I can be open with her about any work-related concerns. I just don’t want to wait for the time when I will have to deal with another drastic change – a new team or a new supervisor (worse, a new schedule) which can be stressful on my part since I like making plans.

Our team will have our picture taken on Wednesday and I don’t know what that’s for nor do I care. I’m just being a good follower and I hope it’s enough for them. I hope no one will force me to get along with my new teammates. I know they are a good bunch but I really take a lot of time to warm up to people so I hope no one’s going to force the issue.

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Ever since Vayie left, I’ve been seating on the ATO Reactive bay. It’s my little way of dealing with the sadness – being with Tetay, Khim and Tin – makes me feel a little less sad every day. I’m thankful that Mitch does not mind me staying there. I really feel the need to stay around people close to me, to keep me from “being insane”, to still give me enough reason to stay. I also found a less reason to dislike J since she has not made an issue about me staying in their bay.

Being with Tetay and Khim (since Tin has already left the company) brings great comfort. I don’t feel the need to always talk to them. Their presence and even their silence are enough reason to make me look forward to come work everyday. It’s also nice to listen to their stories without the need to always “react” without the fear of being misinterpreted. I just love being around them!

However, Mitch asked us yesterday to sit by the bay near her station. I don’t mind, so long as I can be with Tetay and Khim almost every day. Cacai also started hanging out with us more often than usual since she’s so gaga over their wedding preparations. She’s almost close to deciding what theme their wedding will revolve around and I think we’re doing a fine job helping her out. =)

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Last Friday, June 19th, I got a call from my college professor. I was so surprised to get an offer from her – a full-time teaching job in a college in Quezon City. Oh, how I would love to have that job, but I couldn’t accept the offer (they needed confirmation the same day) since there are so many things to consider before leaving the company. With a heavy heart, I had to turn the offer down. I didn’t even have the courage to ask for the details (compensation, benefits, schedule, etc.) because I’m afraid. Yes, I am afraid. Call me a coward, but I still don’t have the guts to take the risk or to make a change – not now, not yet.

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I just finished reading the Twilight Saga for the fourth time. I also started reading another book (e-book) about vampires, entitled, “Dead Until Dark”, the first of the seven books about the life and love (?) of Sookie Stackhouse with a vampire.

The ability to read minds was shown to be a blessing and a curse in these books. I often wonder how this power can affect the relationships I have with the people in my life and around me. If I ask my friends this question:

If I were able to read your thoughts about me, do you think I would still want you to be my friend?

Would I get comforting answers? Would I get an HONESTanswer? Would I find the answers unsettling that I will start doubting the friendship I share with the people I consider special in my life?

Maybe that’s why God didn’t give all of us that power because there are some things better left unsaid. I think, we all managed to be happy at some point in our lives on a need-to-know basis. We can never truly measure a person’s love based on honesty alone. Of course, I don’t like the thought of being lied to. In spite of the fact that we can never be 100% sure that a person has been really truthful in a certain situation, we still find it in our hearts to take a person’s word as truth at a particular moment, because in the end, what matters most is the trust that we have for that person and the faith we have for the relationship we have for them.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
You should try reading Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels. The plot is interesting but beware Twilight fans, you might find the vampire in the story not as endearing as our beloved Edward. Bill, the vampire/love(?) interest of Sookie, can sort of give you the impression that he is, um, horny and a little rough (ends up biting Sookie when he’s coming). This is to prevent yourselves from being disappointed. I was, at first, and the “vulgar” words can be overwhelming, most especially when you still have a hang-over from Edward’s sweet nothings to Bella.

I think it’s more action-packed and sexual than romantic but it’s alright. The book caught my attention and that’s a start.

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You should try Andok’s soft ice cream. It’s yummy and it doesn’t have the “medicine” after-taste. Khim made me try it and I’m glad she did, because the ice cream made me happy. Ha!

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tetay, Tin, Khim and I decided to hold a mid-year wish list party (before Tin left the company). We will call it the Anti-Resignation Mid-year Wish List Party. Our traditional wish list party usually takes place before Christmas but since we’ll never know who will be leaving the company next, we think it’s appropriate to find time to spend time together while we are still in touch with one another.

I know Revo, Dahl, Resty, Spawn and Joel would love to spend time with us again, but it’s understandable why they can’t attend our gatherings because of their respective lives and jobs. That is why we feel the urgency to have this special party. I have yet to think of the details to make this wish list more special. Hopefully, I’ll finish this before the end of the month.

Wicked Wednesday

It’s Wednesday and my second working day for this week. Usually, a work week can be a drag, but thanks to my friends in the office, as our APM puts it, time flies when you’re having fun. Maybe, even when you’re not.

We’re only half way through the week but a lot of things have happened. I really find it surprising how life can still put an oomph when you least expect it and when you almost start to believe that are things are going to be the way they are for a while.

I still miss Vayie like a lost appendage. I dare not express this with everyone. I guess, it’s something I share with her and I prer to keep it that way until… I really don’t know when. I just can’t wait read Vayie’s new entries about her life AFTER SGS. I feel things will eventually be better for me if I am regularly assured that she is treated well. As if she’ll allow anyone to mess with her!

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Great news came my way yesterday. Uno Animo’s baby sister, Cacai, will be Mrs. Von Ivan Basio in 2010, though she just insisted that she''ll keeping her name. Showbiz!! I am very happy for her. At her young age, she finally found the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Siyempre, naramdaman kong napag-iiwanan na ako. Hehehe… Sabi ko nga kay Tin, tatalakan ko na naman si Ceasar pag-uwi ko.

Anyway, this is not about me and my frustrations. This is about the happiness of a little sister (who’s not really little) who deserves the best in life. I love you, Cai!!

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ANG BILIS NA TALAGA NG PERA NGAYON – ANG BILIS MAWALA! =P I can’t believe that today is only the 17th. I’m just glad I have already done the grocery, paid for the bills and gave my sister her allowance, so all’s good. At least, I took care of all my financial obligations for this particular pay-out.

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I finally got my phone back! Thanks to Tamyheart who helped me in getting it fixed for only Php700.

Originally, I had my phone checked at Nokia Care Alimall. I was really decided to get it fixed there, but when the technician told me that I have to pay Php4576 to get my phone working. Napaisip talaga ako! Bagong telepono na yun ‘no?! As much as I want to, I had to decline. With Josine starting school again, I already anticipate a lot of expenses that’ll go with the first few weeks of school like books, school supplies and other possible fees, so it’s not practical to shell out almost 5000 bucks for a phone.

Good thing, Tamyheart (my good friend from college) knows someone who can fix my phone for a much lower price. Now, I’m texting again! Yay!!! NOT!

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And the most special thing to do today is greet Ceasar a…


HAPPY, HAPPY 58TH MONTHSARY, BUBI PACHIEZ!

Hahaha! I know that’s so cheesy and so high school, but hey, it’s another month for us so I really don’t mind being called cheesy or whatever.

We may not have a fancy way to celebrate this special day, but I’m glad that after all these years and all the things we’ve been through, he still remembers this time of the month as a day to be grateful for who we are and what we have together – ALWAYS!

Okay, so maybe I am no longer THAT upset that everyone’s seems to be getting married except me. What really matters is that we’re happy and that even if we continue to struggle with our own demons, we still find refuge and strength in each other. I am grateful that we have love and friendship to back us up when we feel weak.

So, chupchoppy, thank you for everything. I love you. Happy monthsary!

Good night and enjoy the rest of the week, everyone!

Hello everyone! I just want to share with you this cool exercise that my professor, Prof. Orlino Rabago, forwarded to me after the end of our classes last summer. Most of the people close to me how crazy I am about grammar and pronunciation, if not the English language itself. I already tried it and I'm happy to realise that there is still so much to learn. So, go ahead and try it for yourself, friends! Have fun!


If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.


Bert Christensen’s

Truth and Humor Collection

English Pronunciation!

6
Dearest creature in creation, study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, dies and diet, lord and word, sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter, how it’s written). Now I surely will not plague you with such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak.

8
We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Pauper does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed but allowed, people, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, between mover, cover, clover: leeches, breeches, wise, precise, chalice, but police and lice: camel, constable, unstable, principle, disciple, label.

7
Petal, panel, and canal, wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succor, four, gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally, yea, ye, eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face but preface, not efface.

2
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear, say break and steak, but bleak and streak; cloven, oven, how and low, script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, exiles, similes, and reviles; scholar, vicar, and cigar, solar, mica, war and far; one, anemone, Balmoral, kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind. Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
5
Billet does not rhyme with ballet, bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet, blood and flood are not like food, nor is mould, like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, toward, to forward, to reward. And the pronunciation’s OK when you correctly say croquet, rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamor and enamor rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb. Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, neither does devour with clangor.

1
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, and then singer, ginger, linger, real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loath. Job, knob, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little.

3
Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!!! ). Is paling stout and spiky? Won’t it make you lose your wits, writing grouts and saying grits? It’s a dark abyss or tunnel: strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up !!!

Sunday Special

We ordered pizza at Jugno’s Monster Pizza last night. The pizza was good and left us all stuffed for the next two weeks. I am thankful that I have the Sun-Mon off, now that I am in the morning shift since I now get to spend time with my family over dinner and movies. I wished this schedule would be mine for good, but, of course, I know I can only wish.

Anyway, Ceasar finally bought the Globe Tattoo prepaid kit and so we can now surf the net from the comforts of our home. The connection can be slow at times but we can still watch videos and download songs with no problem. I can now check my Facebook account and update my blog at home. Guess, I no longer have an excuse to not have the pictures uploaded in my site as soon as possible, but I know my friends, especially my Uno Animo team won’t mind since they’re already used to the delay. Tamad lang talaga ako. I spent almost five hours surfing the net. At heto, hindi pa rin nagsasawa. Naaaliw talaga ako kasi hindi ko akalain na ayos din naman pala kahit prepaid.


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Ceasar and I went to the mall today to hang out and look for a new pair of jeans for him. We took Josine and Kmart with us, to spend some time with them, too.

Though there were a lot of people hanging out in the mall, I still found it relaxing to visit my favorite bookstores and window shop for stuff I want to buy in the future.

Ceasar and I got a pair of jeans and a new shirt respectively. We also bought our favorite Zen Zest scents. Josine bought another shirt for school (it’s her first day of school tomorrow) and a charm bracelet on sale.

Kmart had a blast at the many stores we visited particularly at Fully Booked and Toy Kingdom. It’s so much more difficult to have him along among the crowd as he can easily get lost in the sea of people. It took a lot of energy to run after him or keep up with him whenever he gets excited but it’s all worth it, thinking that in a few years, he may never want to spend time with his Tita. (*sniffs)

We then had an early dinner at Burger King. As usual, we felt like we couldn’t breathe after eating. (Hahaha!) We decided to hunt for more books to burn some of the calories. We also went looking for a watch. Hopefully, I will have a new one tomorrow.

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We’re halfway through the month of June and I want to send my birthday wishes to the following people:

June 8 – Auntie Medy

June 9 – Mahmu

June 10 – Albert Mallorca and Wilbur Quimba

Happy, happy birthday!! ♥♥♥

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For the past 3 days, I’ve been singing the song, “Thinking of You” by Katy Perry almost everywhere. Thanks to Tin. Because of this song, we got to share some of our feelings and it’s a relief to finally have someone understand or at least, listen to what I feel.

I am not sure if actually talking about it helped since I’ve been trying to suppress the feeling and stop entertaining any more thoughts to silly ideas. Every time I feel I’ve gotten over it, there would be times when it would hit me the way it did the first time and I would have to start all over again to gain the confidence I worked so hard for.

Talking to Tin made me feel like I should really take things slow and not force myself to simply shift from one to the other. I think I really need to be careful about myself as I may end up crazy or something.

I know I am not making sense now and I won’t force myself to do so. I think I owe to myself to take my time and be kinder to myself.

Have a great week ahead of you!!

liking the unlikeable, bearing the unbearable

I’ve watched the TV series, House for a week now and I’m starting to have a huge crush on Hugh Laurie’s character. Dr. Gregory House may be the most cynical and insensitive person I have “known”, but he is the true person in all of us. We all sometimes think the way he does but we are just not that brave to express what we feel.

His candor endeared him to me. I may find his words a little hurtful (maybe because I am not used to that kind of bluntness) but those words are what most people need since we spend too much time sugarcoating feelings even though we already feel like blowing up.

I know I am not ready for Dr. House’s kind of honesty but I feel this kind of honesty makes some situations a lot easier to deal with. (right now, I couldn’t think of an example. Anyone?)

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Last December, I said that I’m giving myself two months before I decide if I leave my present job. Guess what’s my decision? CLUE: I’m still here. Ha!

Believe me, I wasn’t bluffing when I said that then. I just couldn’t think of myself at this point. Of course, I’m part of the reason why I am not resigning. I don’t feel like going through interviews yet. I fear that if I ever answer another question from an initial interview, I might win a title, a crown and a chance to represent our country in a prestigious pageant.

However, I’m starting to feel the stress again. My new teammates are nice and very accommodating. I still get to spend time with my friends (former teammates) during lunch. I just don’t know why I’m feeling this. A migraine is not helping at all. (Kahit hindi ako nagsusuka – sariling version ko to nang migraine)

Now that Vayie is gone, I feel like it's getting worse. Today, I was chatting my day away like a zombie, no desire to make any human connection unless I have no idea what I'll be doing with a particular member's concern. I even found myself shedding a few tears here and there whenever I am not looking at myself. I realized my behavior is almost to the point of being pathetic but who cares? I am alone on a Saturday and I feel it's my right to simply wallow in whatever emotions I have. I feel like a lost a part of me and I'm still notm over the loss.

I'm bluffing when I said I would leave the company. I don't have the guts yet, I can still bear with whatever hell "they" want to throw at us, agents and I still can't feel the kick leaving a bruise. So there!

Happy birthday, mahmu!

It's my mom's birthday today. It's a wonderful reminder of the years she spent with us -- loving us, taking care of, nurturing us and stopping us for doing what we usually want to do.

This day is also a reminder of her absence since she went to heaven two years ago. The feeling of losing her is still fresh but the pain seems so far away. Everytime I or we experience hardships, I'm relieved that she's no longer with us today -- to worry about us, to cry or to feel frustrated when she feels helpless. I'm happy that she's out there praying for us and loving us in her own way God has allowed her to.

It's her turn to be worry-free, just watch us make her proud of how we handle things. I could see her face cringe whenever we make certain decisions but I know that she trusts us that we make them for the best of everyone.

I still miss her -- a lot! I still do find myself cry at times when I feel alone and talk to her as if she's just right beside me, but in the long run, I am thankful that she's already at peace with herself and with our Creator.

I miss our laughter, I miss her fascinating stories and animated expressions. I miss how she takes care of us and how she always makes us feel loved. I miss how she reprimands us over the most trivial of things. I miss shopping for homewares with her. I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.

Mahmu, happy birthday! I miss you a lot. Don't worry, we'll be okay. Thank you for everything. Thank you for loving us always. I love, Ma. Happy birthday!