Monday, January 15, 2007

dishwalla moment: Angels or Devils

Angels or Devils - Dishwalla

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside
I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time
the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold
this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see
well I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time
the angels they burn inside for us
and are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us
if I were to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
it could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

**this has been my favorite song these past couple of weeks. I don't know why. I mean, I'm not sad or depressed. In fact, I am happy and grateful to be so blessed to have my boyfriend in my life, making me feel loved and encouraging me to be the best that I can be. I just love the feeling of surrender, of actually saying something with the intention of doing, of the strength of giving up but still making that person that you'll always be there -- understanding the person, loving the person, being one with the person's feelings and thoughts. (**Thanks, teddy bear, for sharing with me this song!)

aching but working

I wasn't feeling well when I woke up this morning. Felt like not coming to work, but thought better ... 600++ din mababawas sa sweldo ko 'no? (Lapit pa naman prom ng sis ko, daming bibilhin, tapos Valentine's Day at monthsary namin ni Chachiez... parang hindi ako makakagalaw kung wala akong pera.) So, I went to work. I answered emails for over 2 hours, (queue empty na!! Yahoo!) finished reading "The Summons" (finally!!) and now doing my blog just to kill time.

We are going to have our team photo shoot today, hopefully all of us will still look normal -- praying that I will still look like I'm alive since I'm really not feeling well. Hehehehe... In 2 weeks time, makikita na namin ang mga mukha namin sa tarpaulin na nakakabit sa wall ng production floor. Does this mean that we are 2 months away from regularization? 15-day paid leaves? a salary increase? Sana naman... :)

I'm very disappointed with the how the story went in John Grisham's The Summons. Far from my favorite John Grisham work, The Partner. The denouement encouraged more questions rather than the usual "yun pala yun!". Makes me wanna ask the brother more on the whys and hows of his actions. Kalungkot naman. Feeling ko minadali yung pagkakagawa ng book. Wala lang. **Thanks, Tetay.

On Wednesday, Ceasar and I are going to watch "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros" at the UP Film Center. It's our monthsary date. Hwehehe. But this time, it'll be more fun because we will watch it with our friends, Dan (brod ni Ceasar), Mia (Dan's girlfriend), Nini (anak-anakan namin ni Ceasar) and Norecil (ate ni Nini at girlfriend ng gitarista namin na si Gerard). Kaya excited na ako. I haven't seen the film, but have been wanting to see it, wala lang talagang chance. At least ngayon, lapit lang.

Exam na pala ng sister ko sa Sunday sa PUP. Ako yung mas kinakabahan para sa kanya. Feeling ko ako yung maiiyak, ako yung mas masaya pag makapasa siya. Haay!! Sana bigyan ako ng lakas. Lapit na rin lumabas ang resulta sa UP, sana makapasa siya. Wala lang...

Nawala yung sama ng pakiramdam ko. Hilamos lang pala ang katapat at gamot. Wahehehehe.

Hopefully, I'll get a decent sleep tonight. Bumabalik na yung sakit ko eh. I'm easily stressed out when I lack sleep.

But then again, ER and Judging Amy night...