Tuesday, January 9, 2007

TRUTH, will you set me free?

Looking at my blog, I suddenly asked myself two questions: "Am I ready to face the truth?" and "Am I ready to face the people who will know the truth?"

I want to let everything out (ok, not everything! there are things that better kept private, but I know you know what I mean.) but I am afraid of what the truth brings. I'm not sure if I have isolated my life's truth to the world -- or if this is the first time I will be truthful in a long time -- or if I still know the difference between truth and lies -- TOO MANY IFs FOR TRUTH BUT I MYSELF DON'T KNOW IF I'M READY FOR IT!!!

But there is one thing I need and want to promise myself --- I will DO MY BEST to be as TRUTHFUL as I CAN BE.

I feel better just thinking about it...

Land of the Loving

Land of the Loving

Deep in your eyes is a promise
Love can be ours if we want it
Starting tonight, every dream I vere knew
Here in your arms I'm believing
Finally, my life has a meaning of its own
Here in the land of the loving, I am home

I was alone in the city
Searching for someone to find me
Cold empty nights and a million strangers'eyes
Here in your arms I'm beginning
To leave behind all the loneliness I knew
Here in the land of the loving, there is you

In this simple room,
Magic is made, though the world seems unchanged
Leave the lights on, I'm a little afraid,
This might be just a sweet dream

Deep in the night love is growing
Though I had no way of knowing
That when I found you, I found everything I need
Here in your arms, I'll be staying
Finally my life won't be living all alone
Here in the land of the loving, I am home

**this is one of my favorite love songs of all time -- Land of the Loving by David Benoit. I sang this at my Kuya Cromwell's wedding -- his song for his wife, Ate Lhee.

This song reminds me that someday you'll find the right person for you -- to share your triumphs and defeats with -- he/she may not be perfect but he/she is the person where God's love and promises come true. (eeew, mushy!!)

what's in a name?

My name is Jennyvie, to me, a disastrous version of Genevieve (thanks to my Dad). According to the legend, I was supposed to be christened as either Patricia or Carrie Lizbeth. Bummer, huh?

Moving on... I am known to most people as Jen. Not too feminine, just right, couldn't be mistaken for a guy, but not to be interpreted as weak or gullible. My nickname sort of masks who I am.

An angel once called me Yvie, even until I decided to leave the protection of his wings. I thought I would fall in love with someone who treated me differently, but it wasn't meant to be. It was destined that he calls me Yvie. It was destined that he is the angel who will remind me of the endless possibilities life and love has to offer. But we're not destined to be together. (try ko lang i-share sa susunod)

So, where did IENI come from? Ieni is the Hawaiian name for Jen or Jenny.

I found that this is the Hawaiian translation for my nickname when Cai, one of my teammates (ATO Reactive), decided to have Hawaiian Christmas last year. We were supposed to wear hula skirts or summer dresses, put up a Hawaiian Christmas and make each stations exclusive for each one of us with our Hawaiian names posted.

What's in a name? Stories, memories, possibilities...

So, there! IENI...

Finally...

Finally, I have a blog. Yup, it's seems like it's a big deal for me, coz I'm not techie, as it is quite ironic that I am working for eBay UK (email support).

Why do I need a blog? Hmmm, let me see. Seriously, I don't know. I just felt like having one. A venue for me to be in touch with myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences. I hope people won't get me wrong in saying this, but sometimes, I get tired of talking to and being around people. Hey, I do love being around people since this is always a chance for me to learn more, widen my horizon and be a better person. But sometimes... well, most of the time, I just want to be alone, be silent, reflect and listen to myself. Better, read a good book until I fall asleep.

'Guess, blogs help you think and reflect of what happens in your life, without the buzz of people around you who have judgments and, perhaps, unsolicited advices.

May this be the start of my life where I will be able to say, "Finally, I have been honest with myself, with the world watching."