**how painful it is to feel something so powerful when you know you are powerless? How special is someone for one to willingly feel the pain the memory of that someone brings? How painful it is to not know whether you should let go or wait? How far are you willing to go to know if that love is the ONE?
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I sit here and I remember you once again – how I felt about you, how you took my breath away with every touch and kiss. I remember them like it was just yesterday. I remember the dreams we shared – believing that things will be the way we want them to be. I remember the pain as vivid as it was when you left me without anything to hold on to while I wait for the time when you come back to me.
I tried to let go of this unreciprocated love, but I was a fool to think that everything will be the same when the time comes. I tried to ignore your words that linger in my thoughts but they come as fresh as the moment they came out of your sweet lips. I tried not to miss your touch but it is still as warm as the first time you touched me. I suffer every time I’m reminded of your memories, yet I’d rather be hurt than not remember you at all.
I wish I would die and live again and find you at the right place and at the right time. I wish I can hold your hand without doubt. I wish I could caress your lips without fear of losing you ever again. I wish I could hug you without guilt because I now know you are mine. I wish I could stay with you forever and until I breathe my last breath.
But all of these are just wishes – wishes that I know will never come true; false hopes for things that I know could never be. I know these are mere souvenirs of what we used to have.
Yet, I am here waiting – waiting for Fate to change it for me, for us – waiting for you to turn around and come back to me and take me in your arms and tell me that you love me. I am here waiting for you to find the strength to take that leap of faith and be with me; waiting for you to realize that I AM WORTH IT, because I know I love you the way no one has loved you before.
You don’t know this, you will never know this. I want you to see it, find it, realize it on your own. I wait for you in silence and in agony and in longing, I hope you realize it before it’s too late, before I’m too tired, too hopeless to love.
MILEY
