I need to find a new place --- SOON!!

I feel I really find a new place soon. Nothing fancy, just my own space, set my own rules, THERE! Nakakafrustrate kagabi, nag-away na naman kami. Ang ingay kasi ng mga brods niya, magkakalapit lang naman sila, hindi naman sila nakatambay sa bar, kung mag-usap akala mo nasa magkabilang bundok! Stressful! Sinabihan ko na si Ceasar na kung pwede pagsabihan sila. Useless. Bad trip talaga ako!

I really want to spend some time with Ceasar, kasi nga since pareho kaming may work pero magkaiba ang shifts namin, pag Off lang namin talaga kami nagkikita. Alam ko naman na he also needs to spend time with his friends every now and then, parang "ME" time niya pero naman, kakastress talaga, eh masama pa pakiramdam ko kahapon kaya ayun, mega walk out and dabog ang drama ko tuloy. Bad trip talaga. Nakatulog akong masama ang loob ko kya feeling ko tuloy, hindi ako nakapagpahinga. Magkikita kami mamaya before siya pumasok and hopefully, magkaayos na naman kami. =( SANA..

I've been had... sadness!

Sadness mode ako kahapon pag-uwi ko. I've been planning to burn songs for my dad kasi I just bought him these cool new speakers for his DVD player, so I think it will make him happier if I give him a CD with his favorite songs in it (or at least the songs that I know he'll like) He's in Sorsogon til May 10th so that gives me time to do that.

Bad news, with the help of Kuya Raul, nalaman ko na hindi pala DVD writer yung nilagay ng pinagbilhan ko ng PC ~ ABM Systems sa Virra Mall. Upset ako for two things: (1) Inulit-ulit ko pa non na ayoko ng combo lang, gusto ko DVD writer, and (2) I feel stupid kasi niloko ako. Iniisip pa namin ni Ceasar kung anong gagawin namin about this pero as in nalungkot talaga ako because I was nice to the staff ng shop na yun tas ganito ginawa nila sa akin. Haaay!

monday na parang sunday... =(

Haaay, ayoko ng ganitong araw. Mainit ang panahon tapos may sipon at ubo ako. Sobrang uncomfortable talaga pakiramdam ko. It's scary coz I tend to be cranky even when I don't want to. Kaya heto ako, in my station, quiet, surfing the web, listening to David Cook's rendition of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby". Haay, he's super hot talaga!! Kilala na nga ako dito sa team na super David Cook's fan. Kaya pag Thursday, expected na ng mga teammates ko na ang unang-una namin pag-uusapan ni Tin ay American Idol at siyempre si David Cook. Hehehe. Okay, naaalala ko lang si David, hindi na ako cranky. =)

Queue empty ulit kami!! Woohoo!! Kahit 2 lang kami ni Vayie today since stuck si Dahl sa Quezon dahil flat ang tire ng sasakyan nila, aba, nagawa pa rin namin ni Vayie na maubos ang emails. Super fast talaga kami. Power Puff girls - GO!GO!GO!GO!

Pero I can't wait to go home na, gusto ko na talagang magpahinga, nakakapagod umubo. Sana gumaling na ako, hindi ako makasabay sa mga magagandang songs na pinapatugtog ni Vayie. =(

CRAZY SKED, COMING UP!!

It's been a while since I really posted something substantial here. Not that I'm really missing some action here on the web but I just got so hooked up with Facebook since last year. I dunno, I like facebook more than Friendster, because I find it simpler, more organised and easier to access.

Anyway, I'm so excited about Friday. I have a crazy schedule and good thing, i have two days off work after my RDs, so I have the chance to regenerate. You see, one of my good high school buddies is getting married this Friday at the Village Patio in Sikatuna Village, Diliman at 5pm. I'm part of the Offertory entourage with my best friend, Gran as my partner. I was also asked by Paul to sing on their wedding. I'll be singing the beautiful David Benoit composition, "Land of the Loving", which is also my favorite wedding song.

The crazy part came in when I got in touch with my college professor last week. I am bequeathing my crown as Ms CCP on Friday too, February 8th. Although I wasn't really expected to be there at the start of the program at 6pm, still I have to make sure that I'm there in time for my final walk.

Hmm, Ms CCP? That's one of my most kept secrets. (Guess, not anymore) I really don't see myself as the "beauty queen material", that's why I'm really uncomfortable talking about that aspect of my life. Still, no worries, that's part of who I am so there. Here's how it came about:

I took up my BSED English degree in CCP, you see. While I was having my thesis and practice teaching on the 2nd semester, SY 2005-2006, I was asked by my professor to represent the college in this competition. I dunno why he asked me but he did and since he was like a father to me and knowing him who doesn't take no for an answer, I reluctantly said, "YES".

I was definitely the underdog in the competition. Our college didn't have the funds nor did I since I was a working student and supporting my daily expenses. I settled with borrowing stuff from my classmates and friends just to make it happen. My boyfriend was so kind to buy me my own high heeled shoes which I used throughout the whole show. I thought of it as my lucky charm -- full of love and support. =D I had no make-up artists, but I was blessed to be in the hands of talented students who knew more about make-up than I do.

When the pageant night started, it was all adrenaline running high. I was nervous and excited and happy -- all good vibes.. Everyone from the college and my friends from UP and in high school were there to give their support. All I can really do then was give my best. Hahaha. I was in a trance the whole time. No familiar faces throughout the preliminary round. I knew I wasn't drop dead gorgeous or super sexy but hey, I am sincere because I wasn't really there to win the crown -- I was just there to have fun and win the people's hearts. =D

The dance number, the casual interview portion, sports attire portion and business attire portion came and I survived. I was so excited to win the Best Sports Attire award -- the Car Racer outfit was indeed a killer, I was unique and the coolest --not the least bit cliche. I also won the Best in Talent award. I sang Jennifer Love Hewitt's song, Barenaked while playing the guitar. Aaaaargh, the memories give me the shivers.

I guess with that, I was able to get to the next level of the competition -- My favorite part in all beauty pageants.. THE FINAL QUESTION -- wearing an evening gown. Hehehe... We were asked to wear headsets while the first candidate answers the ONE and the same QUESTION. I think I was listening to a Destiny's Child song then but I couldn't remember the title. Then I answered the question: "WHY DID YOU JOIN THE MS CCP COMPETITION?" Ha! I didn't answer, "FOR WORLD PEACE" with a smile that shines from across the miles. Can't remember what I actually said but I believe it was the best then because I WON!!!! YAY!!!

.....

That's why I have this predicament on Friday. I really want to spend time with my high school buddies because it's been a while since we last spent time together. But I know this is a responsibility that I owe my college and the school who helped me in becoming a teacher.

So here's the game plan: from the wedding, I have to leave before 7pm so that I can make it to the pageant in time for my walk. I can imagine myself, running in heels again with this rush, and I know I'll be tired after all these but I know it'll be fun and I'm really looking forward to it. It's just too bad that I would not be spending a lot of time with Paul, Gran and my other friends back in high school because of this.

STILL, WISH ME LUCK, GUYS!

**AND WATCH OUT FOR THE PICS IN FACEBOOK =D

i thought wrong

When I was younger, I thought my friends and I would handle relationships, emotions and heartbreaks better than we were handling them then.

Nine years later, I find myself sitting across one of my high school friends, comforting him, giving him hope that things will be better after a confusing separation with the girl whom he thought he will spend the rest of his life with.

Plans, dreams, romantic nights, wonderful sleeps with that person -- all going down the drain. Suddenly, things just doesn't seem to make sense anymore. You're left wondering what went wrong. "Was everything that we have just that easy to let go?" "I thought we meant something."

Those questions that really only give you reasons to doubt yourself if you'll ever find love -- lasting love...

In the end, I realised we are still the same through the years, we remain the same. We love, we get hurt, we hope and love again.. Hmm, sounds like a vicious cycle to me, but it's something that I believe we all must go through because I know, in the end, we will find that person meant for us -- despite the pain we go through, tears cried, other people whom we thought will be with us --- someone is at the end of this cycle, ready to take us -- flaws and all -- start anew and build your dreams and turn them into a reality..

I thought, when my friends and I are older, we'll handle such feelings with calm and composure -- will never shed a tear and handle our emotions with "maturity".. I thought wrong.. we remain the same, yet better. I remain the same, but now, happier. =D