First time in what feels like a long time

I couldn’t believe it! No entry has been posted in my blog for almost two months. Oh well, as if I have lots of followers. =P
Of course, many things had happened in those 8 weeks.

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I applied as a Communications Analyst for our program last June. I went through two interviews and I’m glad I passed. Training started last July 7 and will end on September 7. Hopefully, I will be confirmed as the Communications Analyst for Email and Chat. I am under the supervision of Allison whom I consider as a very considerate and generous mentor.

This new job proved to be much more physically demanding than I expected since I already lost a few pounds after a week. It’s like I enrolled myself to a workout program I am not aware of. Monitoring the agents’ emails or chats and conducting huddles and trainings everyday keep me up whole part of the shift.

There are times I would miss being an agent – sitting all day answering emails/chats, handling my own time, keeping my own pace (at least, that’s how it was for me). But, with all the new things I learn everyday, I just need to remind myself of how blessed I am to be doing what I’ve been wishing for. There’s no reason to be ungrateful.

People ask me if working as a Communications Analyst is hard. For me, it is, but since I enjoy what I’m doing, it makes everything much easier to bear. I’m happy that I am helping agents to do their jobs better. I’m glad that I have the opportunity to share what I know. I’m excited to learn new things that will help me be a better teacher.

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My dad celebrated his 55th birthday last August 15th. He arrived from Bicol last August 10 to spend a week here in Manila for much deserved vacation.
He had a party at my aunt’s house with most of his siblings and nephews and nieces present. I wasn’t able to come to the party because Ceasar, Josine and I had to drop by at Nini’s house to greet her a “happy birthday”. (Nini is like our adopted child.)

I did go to church with Dada, Tita Liza, JV, Josine, Ceasar and other relatives for a thanksgiving mass.

Ceasar and I celebrated our 5th anniversary (since August 17 fell on a Monday this year) by catching the last screening of the hilarious film, “The Hangover” that Saturday. We just had a little snack at the Coffee Bean. Laughing for almost two hours sure made us hungry. We grabbed a late dinner at Javi’s Sikatuna on our way home.

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L.A. visited the Philippines again after a 3-day mission in Vietnam. We had dinner at Cabalen, Trinoma branch. Too bad, I was not feeling well that day. I didn’t get to enjoy her company, but I’m glad that we spent time together. Hopefully, she will be back again in January.

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Rodney, Jefferson and I got together one Saturday. I missed those guys. We met up at Trinoma and grabbed an early dinner at Bigoli’s, my favorite Italian restaurant (good food at an affordable price). They wanted to have a few drinks so we went straight to Quattro at Timog, Q.C. We stayed there until 3 a.m. since they still have to catch up with some of their guy friends back home.

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Last Sunday, Mau, Kuya Raul and Doie were here at our place. I miss hanging out with them. It’s been a while since we last got together. I just hope we would put an end to the habit of watching our old gigs and showing them to new friends. =P

Hopefully, our plans to go to Sagada soon will push through. I really feel the need to get out of the city.

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In two months, I was able to watch 3 movies. THREE MOVIES!! That’s a personal record.
Nothing But The Truth – watch it at your own risk. You may like it or you may not.
The Hangover – SUPER FUNNY!! It’s a combination of wit and slapstick comedy, so I guess, it’s a good formula for a hilarious movie.
And I Love You So – bring packets of tissues and I mean, PACKETS! Confirmed, Bea is one of the best actresses of her generation. Sam Milby is so hot!!

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I’m so excited!
WHO: ATO Reactive Uno Animo peeps
WHAT: Uno Animo’s Anniversary and mid-year Wish List party
WHEN: September 5, 2009, Saturday, around 6.30am
Finally, this much-awaited event has a date. Yup, you read it right, guys! Around 6.30am. With our different shifts, this is the best time to get together. I’m so happy that everyone was okay with it. It shows that everyone misses everyone. Hehehe.. I can’t wait to take our pictures na yung iba ay pagod dahil sa puyat o pagod dahil kulang pa sa tulog.

totally random stuff

I’ve not been feeling well since yesterday. I thought it was just because I’ve been lacking sleep for the past week, so I tried to get as much sleep as I could over the weekend but it got worse. I found that it’s PMS and acid peptic disease combined. Greeeat! I need to feel better tonight, I don’t want to be absent from work tomorrow. I badly needed to improve my metrics since I now feel the need to find better opportunities in the office. What with Vayie and Tin leaving, reality is starting to sink in. I am happy that I am still under Mitch’s supervision. She may not be the perfect supervisor but at least, I can be open with her about any work-related concerns. I just don’t want to wait for the time when I will have to deal with another drastic change – a new team or a new supervisor (worse, a new schedule) which can be stressful on my part since I like making plans.

Our team had our picture taken today with Tetay as our willing photographer. I don’t know what that’s for nor do I care. I’m just being a good follower and I hope it’s enough for them. No one's forcing me to get along with my new teammates. I know they are a good bunch but I really take a lot of time to warm up to people so I hope no one’s going to force the issue.

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Ever since Vayie left, I’ve been seating on the ATO Reactive bay. It’s my little way of dealing with the sadness – being with Tetay, Khim and Tin – makes me feel a little less sad every day. I’m thankful that Mitch does not mind me staying there. I really feel the need to stay around people close to me, to keep me from “being insane”, to still give me enough reason to stay. I also found a less reason to dislike J since she has not made an issue about me staying in their bay.

Being with Tetay and Khim (since Tin has already left the company) brings great comfort. I don’t feel the need to always talk to them. Their presence and even their silence are enough reason to make me look forward to come work everyday. It’s also nice to listen to their stories without the need to always “react” without the fear of being misinterpreted. I just love being around them!

However, Mitch asked us yesterday to sit by the bay near her station. I don’t mind, so long as I can be with Tetay and Khim almost every day. Cacai also started hanging out with us more often than usual since she’s so gaga over their wedding preparations. She’s almost close to deciding what theme their wedding will revolve around and I think we’re doing a fine job helping her out. =)

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Last Friday, June 19th, I got a call from my college professor. I was so surprised to get an offer from her – a full-time teaching job in a college in Quezon City. Oh, how I would love to have that job, but I couldn’t accept the offer (they needed confirmation the same day) since there are so many things to consider before leaving the company. With a heavy heart, I had to turn the offer down. I didn’t even have the courage to ask for the details (compensation, benefits, schedule, etc.) because I’m afraid. Yes, I am afraid. Call me a coward, but I still don’t have the guts to take the risk or to make a change – not now, not yet.

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I just finished reading the Twilight Saga for the fourth time. I also started reading another book (e-book) about vampires, entitled, “Dead Until Dark”, the first of the seven books about the life and love (?) of Sookie Stackhouse with a vampire.

The ability to read minds was shown to be a blessing and a curse in these books. I often wonder how this power can affect the relationships I have with the people in my life and around me. If I ask my friends this question:

If I were able to read your thoughts about me, do you think I would still want you to be my friend?

Would I get comforting answers? Would I get an HONESTanswer? Would I find the answers unsettling that I will start doubting the friendship I share with the people I consider special in my life?

Maybe that’s why God didn’t give all of us that power because there are some things better left unsaid. I think, we all managed to be happy at some point in our lives on a need-to-know basis. We can never truly measure a person’s love based on honesty alone. Of course, I don’t like the thought of being lied to. In spite of the fact that we can never be 100% sure that a person has been really truthful in a certain situation, we still find it in our hearts to take a person’s word as truth at a particular moment, because in the end, what matters most is the trust that we have for that person and the faith we have for the relationship we have for them.

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You should try reading Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels. The plot is interesting but beware Twilight fans, you might find the vampire in the story not as endearing as our beloved Edward. Bill, the vampire/love(?) interest of Sookie, can sort of give you the impression that he is, um, horny and a little rough (ends up biting Sookie when he’s coming). This is to prevent yourselves from being disappointed. I was, at first, and the “vulgar” words can be overwhelming, most especially when you still have a hang-over from Edward’s sweet nothings to Bella.

I think it’s more action-packed and sexual than romantic but it’s alright. The book caught my attention and that’s a start.

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You should try Andok’s soft ice cream. It’s yummy and it doesn’t have the “medicine” after-taste. Khim made me try it and I’m glad she did, because the ice cream made me happy. Ha!

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Tetay, Tin, Khim and I decided to hold a mid-year wish list party (before Tin left the company). We will call it the Anti-Resignation Mid-year Wish List Party. Our traditional wish list party usually takes place before Christmas but since we’ll never know who will be leaving the company next, we think it’s appropriate to find time to spend time together while we are still in touch with one another.

I know Revo, Dahl, Resty, Spawn and Joel would love to spend time with us again, but it’s understandable why they can’t attend our gatherings because of their respective lives and jobs. That is why we feel the urgency to have this special party. I have yet to think of the details to make this wish list more special. Hopefully, I’ll finish this before the end of the month.

totally random stuff

I’ve not been feeling well since yesterday. I thought it was just because I’ve been lacking sleep for the past week, so I tried to get as much sleep as I could over the weekend but it got worse. I found that it’s PMS and acid peptic disease combined. Greeeat! I need to feel better tonight, I don’t want to be absent from work tomorrow. I badly needed to improve my metrics since I now feel the need to find better opportunities in the office. What with Vayie and Tin leaving, reality is starting to sink in. I am happy that I am still under Mitch’s supervision. She may not be the perfect supervisor but at least, I can be open with her about any work-related concerns. I just don’t want to wait for the time when I will have to deal with another drastic change – a new team or a new supervisor (worse, a new schedule) which can be stressful on my part since I like making plans.

Our team will have our picture taken on Wednesday and I don’t know what that’s for nor do I care. I’m just being a good follower and I hope it’s enough for them. I hope no one will force me to get along with my new teammates. I know they are a good bunch but I really take a lot of time to warm up to people so I hope no one’s going to force the issue.

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Ever since Vayie left, I’ve been seating on the ATO Reactive bay. It’s my little way of dealing with the sadness – being with Tetay, Khim and Tin – makes me feel a little less sad every day. I’m thankful that Mitch does not mind me staying there. I really feel the need to stay around people close to me, to keep me from “being insane”, to still give me enough reason to stay. I also found a less reason to dislike J since she has not made an issue about me staying in their bay.

Being with Tetay and Khim (since Tin has already left the company) brings great comfort. I don’t feel the need to always talk to them. Their presence and even their silence are enough reason to make me look forward to come work everyday. It’s also nice to listen to their stories without the need to always “react” without the fear of being misinterpreted. I just love being around them!

However, Mitch asked us yesterday to sit by the bay near her station. I don’t mind, so long as I can be with Tetay and Khim almost every day. Cacai also started hanging out with us more often than usual since she’s so gaga over their wedding preparations. She’s almost close to deciding what theme their wedding will revolve around and I think we’re doing a fine job helping her out. =)

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Last Friday, June 19th, I got a call from my college professor. I was so surprised to get an offer from her – a full-time teaching job in a college in Quezon City. Oh, how I would love to have that job, but I couldn’t accept the offer (they needed confirmation the same day) since there are so many things to consider before leaving the company. With a heavy heart, I had to turn the offer down. I didn’t even have the courage to ask for the details (compensation, benefits, schedule, etc.) because I’m afraid. Yes, I am afraid. Call me a coward, but I still don’t have the guts to take the risk or to make a change – not now, not yet.

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I just finished reading the Twilight Saga for the fourth time. I also started reading another book (e-book) about vampires, entitled, “Dead Until Dark”, the first of the seven books about the life and love (?) of Sookie Stackhouse with a vampire.

The ability to read minds was shown to be a blessing and a curse in these books. I often wonder how this power can affect the relationships I have with the people in my life and around me. If I ask my friends this question:

If I were able to read your thoughts about me, do you think I would still want you to be my friend?

Would I get comforting answers? Would I get an HONESTanswer? Would I find the answers unsettling that I will start doubting the friendship I share with the people I consider special in my life?

Maybe that’s why God didn’t give all of us that power because there are some things better left unsaid. I think, we all managed to be happy at some point in our lives on a need-to-know basis. We can never truly measure a person’s love based on honesty alone. Of course, I don’t like the thought of being lied to. In spite of the fact that we can never be 100% sure that a person has been really truthful in a certain situation, we still find it in our hearts to take a person’s word as truth at a particular moment, because in the end, what matters most is the trust that we have for that person and the faith we have for the relationship we have for them.

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You should try reading Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels. The plot is interesting but beware Twilight fans, you might find the vampire in the story not as endearing as our beloved Edward. Bill, the vampire/love(?) interest of Sookie, can sort of give you the impression that he is, um, horny and a little rough (ends up biting Sookie when he’s coming). This is to prevent yourselves from being disappointed. I was, at first, and the “vulgar” words can be overwhelming, most especially when you still have a hang-over from Edward’s sweet nothings to Bella.

I think it’s more action-packed and sexual than romantic but it’s alright. The book caught my attention and that’s a start.

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You should try Andok’s soft ice cream. It’s yummy and it doesn’t have the “medicine” after-taste. Khim made me try it and I’m glad she did, because the ice cream made me happy. Ha!

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Tetay, Tin, Khim and I decided to hold a mid-year wish list party (before Tin left the company). We will call it the Anti-Resignation Mid-year Wish List Party. Our traditional wish list party usually takes place before Christmas but since we’ll never know who will be leaving the company next, we think it’s appropriate to find time to spend time together while we are still in touch with one another.

I know Revo, Dahl, Resty, Spawn and Joel would love to spend time with us again, but it’s understandable why they can’t attend our gatherings because of their respective lives and jobs. That is why we feel the urgency to have this special party. I have yet to think of the details to make this wish list more special. Hopefully, I’ll finish this before the end of the month.

Wicked Wednesday

It’s Wednesday and my second working day for this week. Usually, a work week can be a drag, but thanks to my friends in the office, as our APM puts it, time flies when you’re having fun. Maybe, even when you’re not.

We’re only half way through the week but a lot of things have happened. I really find it surprising how life can still put an oomph when you least expect it and when you almost start to believe that are things are going to be the way they are for a while.

I still miss Vayie like a lost appendage. I dare not express this with everyone. I guess, it’s something I share with her and I prer to keep it that way until… I really don’t know when. I just can’t wait read Vayie’s new entries about her life AFTER SGS. I feel things will eventually be better for me if I am regularly assured that she is treated well. As if she’ll allow anyone to mess with her!

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Great news came my way yesterday. Uno Animo’s baby sister, Cacai, will be Mrs. Von Ivan Basio in 2010, though she just insisted that she''ll keeping her name. Showbiz!! I am very happy for her. At her young age, she finally found the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Siyempre, naramdaman kong napag-iiwanan na ako. Hehehe… Sabi ko nga kay Tin, tatalakan ko na naman si Ceasar pag-uwi ko.

Anyway, this is not about me and my frustrations. This is about the happiness of a little sister (who’s not really little) who deserves the best in life. I love you, Cai!!

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ANG BILIS NA TALAGA NG PERA NGAYON – ANG BILIS MAWALA! =P I can’t believe that today is only the 17th. I’m just glad I have already done the grocery, paid for the bills and gave my sister her allowance, so all’s good. At least, I took care of all my financial obligations for this particular pay-out.

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I finally got my phone back! Thanks to Tamyheart who helped me in getting it fixed for only Php700.

Originally, I had my phone checked at Nokia Care Alimall. I was really decided to get it fixed there, but when the technician told me that I have to pay Php4576 to get my phone working. Napaisip talaga ako! Bagong telepono na yun ‘no?! As much as I want to, I had to decline. With Josine starting school again, I already anticipate a lot of expenses that’ll go with the first few weeks of school like books, school supplies and other possible fees, so it’s not practical to shell out almost 5000 bucks for a phone.

Good thing, Tamyheart (my good friend from college) knows someone who can fix my phone for a much lower price. Now, I’m texting again! Yay!!! NOT!

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And the most special thing to do today is greet Ceasar a…


HAPPY, HAPPY 58TH MONTHSARY, BUBI PACHIEZ!

Hahaha! I know that’s so cheesy and so high school, but hey, it’s another month for us so I really don’t mind being called cheesy or whatever.

We may not have a fancy way to celebrate this special day, but I’m glad that after all these years and all the things we’ve been through, he still remembers this time of the month as a day to be grateful for who we are and what we have together – ALWAYS!

Okay, so maybe I am no longer THAT upset that everyone’s seems to be getting married except me. What really matters is that we’re happy and that even if we continue to struggle with our own demons, we still find refuge and strength in each other. I am grateful that we have love and friendship to back us up when we feel weak.

So, chupchoppy, thank you for everything. I love you. Happy monthsary!

Good night and enjoy the rest of the week, everyone!

Sunday Special

We ordered pizza at Jugno’s Monster Pizza last night. The pizza was good and left us all stuffed for the next two weeks. I am thankful that I have the Sun-Mon off, now that I am in the morning shift since I now get to spend time with my family over dinner and movies. I wished this schedule would be mine for good, but, of course, I know I can only wish.

Anyway, Ceasar finally bought the Globe Tattoo prepaid kit and so we can now surf the net from the comforts of our home. The connection can be slow at times but we can still watch videos and download songs with no problem. I can now check my Facebook account and update my blog at home. Guess, I no longer have an excuse to not have the pictures uploaded in my site as soon as possible, but I know my friends, especially my Uno Animo team won’t mind since they’re already used to the delay. Tamad lang talaga ako. I spent almost five hours surfing the net. At heto, hindi pa rin nagsasawa. Naaaliw talaga ako kasi hindi ko akalain na ayos din naman pala kahit prepaid.


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Ceasar and I went to the mall today to hang out and look for a new pair of jeans for him. We took Josine and Kmart with us, to spend some time with them, too.

Though there were a lot of people hanging out in the mall, I still found it relaxing to visit my favorite bookstores and window shop for stuff I want to buy in the future.

Ceasar and I got a pair of jeans and a new shirt respectively. We also bought our favorite Zen Zest scents. Josine bought another shirt for school (it’s her first day of school tomorrow) and a charm bracelet on sale.

Kmart had a blast at the many stores we visited particularly at Fully Booked and Toy Kingdom. It’s so much more difficult to have him along among the crowd as he can easily get lost in the sea of people. It took a lot of energy to run after him or keep up with him whenever he gets excited but it’s all worth it, thinking that in a few years, he may never want to spend time with his Tita. (*sniffs)

We then had an early dinner at Burger King. As usual, we felt like we couldn’t breathe after eating. (Hahaha!) We decided to hunt for more books to burn some of the calories. We also went looking for a watch. Hopefully, I will have a new one tomorrow.

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We’re halfway through the month of June and I want to send my birthday wishes to the following people:

June 8 – Auntie Medy

June 9 – Mahmu

June 10 – Albert Mallorca and Wilbur Quimba

Happy, happy birthday!! ♥♥♥

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For the past 3 days, I’ve been singing the song, “Thinking of You” by Katy Perry almost everywhere. Thanks to Tin. Because of this song, we got to share some of our feelings and it’s a relief to finally have someone understand or at least, listen to what I feel.

I am not sure if actually talking about it helped since I’ve been trying to suppress the feeling and stop entertaining any more thoughts to silly ideas. Every time I feel I’ve gotten over it, there would be times when it would hit me the way it did the first time and I would have to start all over again to gain the confidence I worked so hard for.

Talking to Tin made me feel like I should really take things slow and not force myself to simply shift from one to the other. I think I really need to be careful about myself as I may end up crazy or something.

I know I am not making sense now and I won’t force myself to do so. I think I owe to myself to take my time and be kinder to myself.

Have a great week ahead of you!!

liking the unlikeable, bearing the unbearable

I’ve watched the TV series, House for a week now and I’m starting to have a huge crush on Hugh Laurie’s character. Dr. Gregory House may be the most cynical and insensitive person I have “known”, but he is the true person in all of us. We all sometimes think the way he does but we are just not that brave to express what we feel.

His candor endeared him to me. I may find his words a little hurtful (maybe because I am not used to that kind of bluntness) but those words are what most people need since we spend too much time sugarcoating feelings even though we already feel like blowing up.

I know I am not ready for Dr. House’s kind of honesty but I feel this kind of honesty makes some situations a lot easier to deal with. (right now, I couldn’t think of an example. Anyone?)

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Last December, I said that I’m giving myself two months before I decide if I leave my present job. Guess what’s my decision? CLUE: I’m still here. Ha!

Believe me, I wasn’t bluffing when I said that then. I just couldn’t think of myself at this point. Of course, I’m part of the reason why I am not resigning. I don’t feel like going through interviews yet. I fear that if I ever answer another question from an initial interview, I might win a title, a crown and a chance to represent our country in a prestigious pageant.

However, I’m starting to feel the stress again. My new teammates are nice and very accommodating. I still get to spend time with my friends (former teammates) during lunch. I just don’t know why I’m feeling this. A migraine is not helping at all. (Kahit hindi ako nagsusuka – sariling version ko to nang migraine)

Now that Vayie is gone, I feel like it's getting worse. Today, I was chatting my day away like a zombie, no desire to make any human connection unless I have no idea what I'll be doing with a particular member's concern. I even found myself shedding a few tears here and there whenever I am not looking at myself. I realized my behavior is almost to the point of being pathetic but who cares? I am alone on a Saturday and I feel it's my right to simply wallow in whatever emotions I have. I feel like a lost a part of me and I'm still notm over the loss.

I'm bluffing when I said I would leave the company. I don't have the guts yet, I can still bear with whatever hell "they" want to throw at us, agents and I still can't feel the kick leaving a bruise. So there!

turmoil and tranquility

I went to church to attend mass for the first time in a very long time and I'm glad I did. The priest gave a good homily. No politics, no socio-economic problems mentioned. It was all about what the new tomorrow brings -- hope, opportunity and freedom.

For years, after the incident that almost cost me my life and my family, I've been contented in communicating with God through prayers. I feel unworthy being in His "presence", that I never felt comfortable to any church at all.

Attending the mass yesterday was the first of hopefully, many visits I will make. I am grateful God gave me the strength to overcome my doubt, guilt and fears. The homily confirmed the path I am taking and I am thankful that He continues to guide me in everything I do.

I went home with peace and gratitude in my heart. I can feel my mom smiling down at me. As a devout Catholic, she wanted me to go back to church, but as my mom, she understood why I couldn't take that step then. Now, I did it. I hope she's a little happier.

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My newfound peace was challenged and I failed...

I know I admitted in one of my latest entries that I am unhappy and that I still remember the people who were responsible for this, but that doesn't mean I spend most of my waking moments here at work looking for a way to get even with them. I am doing a great job believing that they no longer exist and am now used to the fact that their feelings no longer matter to me.

But this one - she's really pushing me to the limit. She still takes things personal and she uses her position to make things go her way. She was successful in making most people believe that she was the victim and now she's on the loose again.

Looking back, I still feel sad that our relationship ended up from being something to nothing. I no longer consider her a person who can be trusted and respected. I have nothing for her except disgust and disbelief when she does something directed to me.

I understand she's concern about her agents meeting their stats but that doesn't mean she should directly blame my short visits to my former teammates' stations to be the reason. Did she not consider other factors leading to such results?

Kapag kayo ang nakikinabang, ayos lang na baluktutin ang mga patakaran dito. Pero pag nasa katwiran naman ang mga hiling ng ahente, kahit umiyak nang dugo, hindi ninyo pagbibigyan at kukwestyunin nyo pa ang pagpapahalaga nito sa trabaho.

Katulad ng nangyari sa kaibigan ko. Inabutan siya ng malakas na ulan nung paluwas na siya ng Maynila galing sa probinsya niya nung off niya. Tumawag siya at hiniling na kung pwede i-adjust yung schedule niya dahil siguradong mahuhuli siya sa pagpasok dahil baha sa mga kalsadang dadaaanan niya. Hindi ninyo pinagbigyan, kaya pinili na lang niyang hindi pumasok so he filed for an EL. Nagkaroon ng usapan kung kelan ba pwedeng magpaayos ng schedule at ang nakuha pa ng kaibigan ko, sermon dahil hindi siya naging propesyonal. Yun ang pananaw ng mga taong ito sa situwasyon na yon at hindi ko kokontrahin yun kasi opinyon nila yun.

Ngayon, nung sila na ang magpapakain kasi naubos na ang emails, o dahil galing sila sa bakasyon at gusto nilang magkuwento, binabago nila agad yung schedule and punches to accommodate these. Nice one!

So now she told my friend that she (my friend) should stop talking to me while answering emails because she's not meeting her metrics and she warned my friend by saying she doesn't want it to reach the point where she will have to talk to me about this because I am now under a different supervisor.

Since when did she ever have the guts to talk to me? Please!!!! Whatever her real intentions and reasons are for making a big deal out of my short visits, I hope it's making her really happy. After all, she couldn't expect others to give her that because I don't think there's anyone at work who genuinely likes her. We used to but things have CHANGED. I can never bring someone into my life who breathes lies, hypocrisy and deception. I prefer spend my time with people who may not be perfect or SOFT-SPOKEN but who at least have the decency to be honest about who they are and their feelings. I don't want to spend my time watching my back. Plus I don't want to be around a person so sensitive that I have to watch every word I say with fear that I might offend her in the simplest remarks I make.

I've always been good follower but I am no all goody-two-shoes. I am giddy (or so Vayie says) but I get angry too. I fight back when I need to. I speak up when I feel someone is being stubborn. I can also be cruel and disrespectful, you know.

If she wants to be respected, she should be brave enough to be honest, be decent enough to be professional and be honest & responsible enough to admit mistakes and shortcomings. If she can't do any of these, she should stay out of my business and out of my way. Actually, I just want her out of my life - she's miserable and she finds joy in making others as miserable as her.

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CHANGE TOPIC! (Whew..) I only slept for 3 hours after I came home from work. I had to wake up around lunchtime because we will be visiting my dad.

We had lunch at Dada's place to celebrate Easter together and because my Dad will leave again for Albay for a job he took after his early retirement. We had beef caldereta, fried galunggong, bicol express and laing. It was a yummy feast, thanks to my Dad and Tita Liza.

I already felt sleepy after eating but the afternoon heat is too overwhelming for a power nap. I had no choice but to watch the ASAP'08 reruns. Watching the show for almost two hours, I realised how much I like Sarah Geronimo, Shaina Magdayao, Maja Salvador, Nikki Gil, Iya Villania and Toni Gonzaga; Piolo Pascual, Rayver Cruz and Billy Crawford that much and that I find them nakakaaliw.

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I'm not feeling well. Migraine and acid peptic disease. Been to the clinic three times, still no sign of the nurse. *sigh

"ho-hum" in the office

Despite all these years attempting to be a songwriter, I was only able to finish one composition, lyrics and all, with the help of my one only Bubi pachiez, Csar. To my friends, this song is soooo 2007. I just checked my old entry when I first shared it here and found that the words changed a lot when Csar put the melody to it.

I know it's kinda makulit to keep posting certain stuff with a little difference but please understand that I consider this as my first baby in music. I always admit that I am not a good composer since most of the songs I write ended up being essays. That's why this song is considered a milestone. Haha!

I want to thank Cacai, Tetay and Tin for listening to this song back when we were still on the 26th floor of EBP. I appreciate your enthusiasm and feedback then.

CAN NEVER BE MINE

A moment of laughter
A secret smile
A brush of your hand
laidback afternoon
The slightest touch
Hours to last forever
These things I shared with you can never be mine
can never be yours, can never be ours.

Hold on to this moment
and never let go
could never be, you and I both know
(you and I both know)

Tears flowing
My heart is breaking
Silence deafening
My love awaiting
desperately hoping
the pain I will endure
So just let me have you this time
since tomorrow can never be mine...
can never be yours and mine.

Hold on to this moment
and never let go
could never be, you and I both know

This memory will linger 'til
my heart stops beating for your name
Til my eyes no longer cry for this
Love that can never be ours,
That can never be yours and mine.

Hold on to this moment
and never let go
could never be, you and I both know

Instrumental

Hold on to this moment
and never let go
could never be, you and I both know
We could never have this moment
we need to let go
coz it could never be
this could never be mine
could never be yours and mine.
It could never be yours and mine,
will never be yours and mine.

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Dada (my daddy) arrived from Bicol last Friday. We will have lunch at his place today to celebrate Easter Sunday as a family since he'll be leaving for Bicol again on Monday. Too bad, Csar won't be joining us. He will be attending a fiesta in Tayuman with his supervisor and his teammates.

To everyone, Happy Easter! The hunt for the colorful eggs is on...

Speaking of egg-hunting, we have one in the office. If only I have the energy or at least, the enthusiasm to join the fun (when was I ever after the office fun!?), I wouldn't mind looking for an egg around the office to win the prizes like the Nokia phone, the GE slimline telephones and the Ayala Mall GCs, but since I don't, let's just leave it to those who do and who are lucky. =)

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Vayie, I tried one of your shared blog tricks here in this entry! Yay!

another lazy entry

As usual, I'm too tired (or lazy) to write a decent blog entry...

First, I would like to apologise to my Uno Animo teammates. No pictures yet from our get-together last March 30. I know the pics I have are not a lot but I know you love to see them too. When I have the time (yeah, right!), I will post them in Facebook and our yahoogroups site. =)

Here is a presentation (uh-huh) of the things I've done, been doing, will be doing and would've wanted to do:

I had dinner with my bessy, Gran a few days after he got back from his Asian tour. He got me a bag, a couple of keychains and a fridge magnet from Singapore. What a thoughtful sweetheart! The pictures he and JB took of Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand were amazing, but the stories he told were hilarious. =)

Uno Animo (Alex, Cacai, Dustin, Febe, RJ, Tetay, Vayie and me) and Grumpig (Milo) had merienda/dinner at Dad's Glorietta last March 30, Monday/payday. Tin was missing in action but for a valid reason so she's forgiven. =P We also met Cacai's boyfriend, Ivan.

As you already know, Tita Tess, Tito Josal, Inna and Iris arrived from Canada last March to attend the funeral and burial of Tito Josal's father, Mr. Bartolome del Castillo, Jr. in Bicol. They are now in Baguio with my Tita Bebot, my cousins Andrea and Camille, my sister, Josine, my brother, Joshua and my niece, Nikki. I was supposed to join them but work got in the way. (What's new?!)

I watched the movie , "Race to Witch Mountain" with Bubi. The plot was predictable but the characters were entertaining.

Csar and I learned that tea latte tastes awful - the hard way. It is a rarity that I would dare try something new and it was not a good experience. =(

I went to a bookstore sale and found this cool dictionary from Oxford: The Official Dictionary of the Unofficial English. It was on sale for Php150, but wasn't able to get it -- found that I only have Php110 in my pocket and didn't have my ATM card with me. Bummer!

I would like to greet my bessy, Apol a very happy birthday (April 7). I wish we could see her soon and spend loads of time with her since she's been working for the last year - almost nonstop.

Birthday wishes also goes to my gradeschool friend, Ivylaine (April 6), my supervisor Mitch (April 7) and my ex-boyfriend, Cerwin (April 8) and to a baby sister, April Adap (April 9) who is now a wife and a mother to a beautiful family.

These are the songs that I just love listening to these days: I Stay in Love (Mariah Carey), Heaven Sent (Keyshia Cole), Insomniac (Craig David), One Step at a Time (Jordin Sparks), More to Life (Stacie Orrico), Forever & Because of You (Boyce Avenue version).

Csar and I did our best to catch the movie, "Knowing" (starring Nicholas Cage) together and we did. We found it interesting as subtly showed the unity of faith and science in our lives. The movie looked like a blockbuster movie in the making. I've seen a few movies these past months and I've never seen a cinema this packed since Harry Potter and Twilight. With or without the hype, it was worth it. The movie will leave you thinking.

Before we watched "Knowing", Csar and I had lunch at Bigoli's (Trinoma), an Italian restaurant Tetay and I "discovered" (from a clickthecity.com review) while looking for a nice place where we can hold the Mean Girls' little get-together with our former supervisor, Spawn.

Bigoli's has this new promo: Eat-All-You-Can Pizza for Php199 only. The price includes a refillable drink. Eat the most number of pizza slices will earn you a place in their Hall of Fame and a shirt. So far, a Nursing student from UST, "Jogar" Garcia holds the record for eating 25 slices of pizza. Beat that! But remember, this promo is only available between 10am-2pm everyday.

I dropped by at the Fully Booked Gateway Mall branch and National Bookstore Superbranch last Monday. I got a couple of stuff added to my wishlist: an LED slim book light and a red grab bag (super cute) which I want to buy this coming payday. I also passed by the Girbaud store and I found the three most adorable bags I have ever seen since I visited the store last Christmas. I hope I will have the extra cash to take at least one of those cuties home.

I will soon be seeing my ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in a decade. (Yup, he's the forgetful ex. hehehe) We still haven't agreed on the details because of my crazy schedule.

I'll be taking Education classes starting April 13. My classes will be from 9am-1pm, Mondays to Fridays. I'm so excited! It'll be a little bit tough since I will be attending my classes after my work shift at 7am, but I welcome the challenge because finally I'll be doing something beyond the walls of the office. That doesn't mean you will be seeing me more relaxed.