"ho-hum" in the office

Despite all these years attempting to be a songwriter, I was only able to finish one composition, lyrics and all, with the help of my one only Bubi pachiez, Csar. To my friends, this song is soooo 2007. I just checked my old entry when I first shared it here and found that the words changed a lot when Csar put the melody to it.

I know it's kinda makulit to keep posting certain stuff with a little difference but please understand that I consider this as my first baby in music. I always admit that I am not a good composer since most of the songs I write ended up being essays. That's why this song is considered a milestone. Haha!

I want to thank Cacai, Tetay and Tin for listening to this song back when we were still on the 26th floor of EBP. I appreciate your enthusiasm and feedback then.

CAN NEVER BE MINE

A moment of laughter
A secret smile
A brush of your hand
laidback afternoon
The slightest touch
Hours to last forever
These things I shared with you can never be mine
can never be yours, can never be ours.

Hold on to this moment
and never let go
could never be, you and I both know
(you and I both know)

Tears flowing
My heart is breaking
Silence deafening
My love awaiting
desperately hoping
the pain I will endure
So just let me have you this time
since tomorrow can never be mine...
can never be yours and mine.

Hold on to this moment
and never let go
could never be, you and I both know

This memory will linger 'til
my heart stops beating for your name
Til my eyes no longer cry for this
Love that can never be ours,
That can never be yours and mine.

Hold on to this moment
and never let go
could never be, you and I both know

Instrumental

Hold on to this moment
and never let go
could never be, you and I both know
We could never have this moment
we need to let go
coz it could never be
this could never be mine
could never be yours and mine.
It could never be yours and mine,
will never be yours and mine.

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Dada (my daddy) arrived from Bicol last Friday. We will have lunch at his place today to celebrate Easter Sunday as a family since he'll be leaving for Bicol again on Monday. Too bad, Csar won't be joining us. He will be attending a fiesta in Tayuman with his supervisor and his teammates.

To everyone, Happy Easter! The hunt for the colorful eggs is on...

Speaking of egg-hunting, we have one in the office. If only I have the energy or at least, the enthusiasm to join the fun (when was I ever after the office fun!?), I wouldn't mind looking for an egg around the office to win the prizes like the Nokia phone, the GE slimline telephones and the Ayala Mall GCs, but since I don't, let's just leave it to those who do and who are lucky. =)

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Vayie, I tried one of your shared blog tricks here in this entry! Yay!

A generally good Friday

I got a call from a college friend who is now living in Singapore. She is one of the few people I became close with despite the little time I get to spend in school after classes because of my tutorial job. We lost touch when she left school without any notice. Her old number's no longer active and her Friendster account abandoned.

I'm happy to hear that she is now married to a Singaporean and is a mother to Shawn who will be turning two on July 11. She will be coming back here in the Philippines either on the last week of May or on the first week of June. She said she'll be staying here a little longer than her last visit since she wants her son to celebrate his birthday with her relatives and friends this time. That means we will have the time to catch up on things. =)

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I heard this crazy news in the office. We are no longer allowed to bring beverages inside the production floor even if we are using spill-proof mugs/tumblers. All we can drink is water.

Great! Good luck to those who need a kick of caffeine just to get through the graveyard shift. Wala na yata talagang magawa ang ibang tao sa amin. Bagot na sila sa kanilang trabaho. Pati iinumin namin, pinanghihimasukan na nila.

No pen and paper policy. It's understandable if it is for the security of the whole account, why not. Pero TISSUE PAPER?! Helloooo! Kahit tumutulo na ang sipon at parang Malabanan na kung suminghot ang mga ahente, bawal pa rin ang tissue. The administrators should really do some serious thinking, because they appear to be NOT thinking at all and they are not making any sense. If they want to make sense, the least they could is explain why we are not allowed to do this and that. After all, we are not servants who should blindly heed to the whims of our "masters".

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I saw this girl on the floor. I find her pretty with her long, flowing brown hair and slim waist like an Japanese anime character. Then I saw her by the elevator, chewing something like there's no tomorrow...

hindi pala siya ganun kaganda..=(

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Josine is back again from a 5-day vacation in Pangasinan and Baguio. I definitely missed her and her funny antics. Too bad, Kmart just left with his mom to spend what's left of the Holy Week with his "ate" and his mom's relatives. Malungkot tuloy si Josine, excited pa man din siyang umuwi kasi akala niya, may ma-bu- bully daw siya pag-uwi niya. Looks like Kmart was one step ahead of her. Ha!

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Kate (Kmart's mom) was thoughtful enough to ask me if I want to get my flu vaccine in their office. Since I was diagnosed and hospitalized for acute bronchitis last January, my doctor advised me to get myself vaccinated for flu as this would help prevent acute bronchitis from coming back. It is not covered by our healthcare provider. The last time I asked, you could get the vaccine for Php800, but through the program that Kate's company, their HMO and GSK have, we will get the vaccine for only Php350.

Hopefully, I will also have the slot for the cervical cancer vaccine as well. Kate said it will only cose Php1650/shot for a total of 3 shots within 6 months. That's over 60% savings since it cost around Php6000-Php7000 per shot.

Check out this article:
http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=419193

another lazy entry

As usual, I'm too tired (or lazy) to write a decent blog entry...

First, I would like to apologise to my Uno Animo teammates. No pictures yet from our get-together last March 30. I know the pics I have are not a lot but I know you love to see them too. When I have the time (yeah, right!), I will post them in Facebook and our yahoogroups site. =)

Here is a presentation (uh-huh) of the things I've done, been doing, will be doing and would've wanted to do:

I had dinner with my bessy, Gran a few days after he got back from his Asian tour. He got me a bag, a couple of keychains and a fridge magnet from Singapore. What a thoughtful sweetheart! The pictures he and JB took of Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand were amazing, but the stories he told were hilarious. =)

Uno Animo (Alex, Cacai, Dustin, Febe, RJ, Tetay, Vayie and me) and Grumpig (Milo) had merienda/dinner at Dad's Glorietta last March 30, Monday/payday. Tin was missing in action but for a valid reason so she's forgiven. =P We also met Cacai's boyfriend, Ivan.

As you already know, Tita Tess, Tito Josal, Inna and Iris arrived from Canada last March to attend the funeral and burial of Tito Josal's father, Mr. Bartolome del Castillo, Jr. in Bicol. They are now in Baguio with my Tita Bebot, my cousins Andrea and Camille, my sister, Josine, my brother, Joshua and my niece, Nikki. I was supposed to join them but work got in the way. (What's new?!)

I watched the movie , "Race to Witch Mountain" with Bubi. The plot was predictable but the characters were entertaining.

Csar and I learned that tea latte tastes awful - the hard way. It is a rarity that I would dare try something new and it was not a good experience. =(

I went to a bookstore sale and found this cool dictionary from Oxford: The Official Dictionary of the Unofficial English. It was on sale for Php150, but wasn't able to get it -- found that I only have Php110 in my pocket and didn't have my ATM card with me. Bummer!

I would like to greet my bessy, Apol a very happy birthday (April 7). I wish we could see her soon and spend loads of time with her since she's been working for the last year - almost nonstop.

Birthday wishes also goes to my gradeschool friend, Ivylaine (April 6), my supervisor Mitch (April 7) and my ex-boyfriend, Cerwin (April 8) and to a baby sister, April Adap (April 9) who is now a wife and a mother to a beautiful family.

These are the songs that I just love listening to these days: I Stay in Love (Mariah Carey), Heaven Sent (Keyshia Cole), Insomniac (Craig David), One Step at a Time (Jordin Sparks), More to Life (Stacie Orrico), Forever & Because of You (Boyce Avenue version).

Csar and I did our best to catch the movie, "Knowing" (starring Nicholas Cage) together and we did. We found it interesting as subtly showed the unity of faith and science in our lives. The movie looked like a blockbuster movie in the making. I've seen a few movies these past months and I've never seen a cinema this packed since Harry Potter and Twilight. With or without the hype, it was worth it. The movie will leave you thinking.

Before we watched "Knowing", Csar and I had lunch at Bigoli's (Trinoma), an Italian restaurant Tetay and I "discovered" (from a clickthecity.com review) while looking for a nice place where we can hold the Mean Girls' little get-together with our former supervisor, Spawn.

Bigoli's has this new promo: Eat-All-You-Can Pizza for Php199 only. The price includes a refillable drink. Eat the most number of pizza slices will earn you a place in their Hall of Fame and a shirt. So far, a Nursing student from UST, "Jogar" Garcia holds the record for eating 25 slices of pizza. Beat that! But remember, this promo is only available between 10am-2pm everyday.

I dropped by at the Fully Booked Gateway Mall branch and National Bookstore Superbranch last Monday. I got a couple of stuff added to my wishlist: an LED slim book light and a red grab bag (super cute) which I want to buy this coming payday. I also passed by the Girbaud store and I found the three most adorable bags I have ever seen since I visited the store last Christmas. I hope I will have the extra cash to take at least one of those cuties home.

I will soon be seeing my ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in a decade. (Yup, he's the forgetful ex. hehehe) We still haven't agreed on the details because of my crazy schedule.

I'll be taking Education classes starting April 13. My classes will be from 9am-1pm, Mondays to Fridays. I'm so excited! It'll be a little bit tough since I will be attending my classes after my work shift at 7am, but I welcome the challenge because finally I'll be doing something beyond the walls of the office. That doesn't mean you will be seeing me more relaxed.

alone but not lonely, maybe unhappy

Today must be one of those days when I have little patience for some people around me here in the office. I am unhappy and pressured. These feelings are overwhelming.

I'm unhappy -- because of some people at work. I am blessed to be part of a team that is composed of people who are friendly and helpful. I mean they are wonderful - period. BUT there are some people who can be really annoying. They think they're funny and entertaining but they're NOT. They're just a bunch of nuisance who think they are making other people's lives at work better.

I don't like working in a noisy environment. I hate idle talks. I don't like people who likes having conversations with others just for the sake of having a conversation.

The pressure at work is not making me any happier and is leaving me with a feeling of being stuck with something I have no control over. I want to be an asset to the team. They may not be my friends, they may not understand or know where I'm coming from, but I still want to contribute to the success of the team. That desire does add to the pressure. I try not to let that get to me but it does. It's hard when you are not working with people who you consider your good friends.

As a spectator, you may see me as too attached or sentimental at some point. It seems I am not handling this change in a mature kind of way. It's been 5 months since I was transferred to a different queue but the feeling of protest has not changed. I may have accepted the fact that I am no longer part of the team that I care so much about but somehow, my heart screams for justice. I know my presence (along with Vayie's and Khim's) will forever haunt those people responsible for this unjust action. The joy and satisfaction they find in making lives miserable will soon eat their souls empty and left with nothing. Their idea of respect from other people will remain an idea or an imagination.

I know I should've moved on. Whenever I feel unhappy about work, I shouldn't blame those people who put me here. I KNOW THAT! Then, again, today is ONE of those days and I will not deprive myself of this kind of therapy. If this will make me feel a little bit better, then I will indulge in this moment.

In the first place, I wouldn't be here if not for them. I didn't have to fight back if they just chose to let us be. I wouldn't have to be around annoying people most of the time if I was still with Uno Animo. If not for them, I would still have the chance to be silent without being misunderstood or misinterpreted.

I'm not saying that I will never like the people that I now work with. I'm just saying that it will take some time before I'll get used to their personalities and vice-versa. I don't feel superior/inferior when I'm with them. I just love being with myself MOST of the time.

Parang mobile phone lang..

Tita Tess, Tito Josal and my cousins, Inna and Iris arrived yesterday from Canada to attend the funeral and burial of Tito Josal's father.

The death of a loved-one is never easy regardless if one died young or old. Parting from someone who brought so much love, wisdom and strength in your life will always be a bittersweet moment for those left behind. Still, it offers an opportunity to spend time with the people who mean so much to us and count every blessing that comes your way.

When my mom died, I felt all my wounds healed and the scars disappeared. Hating people who've hurt me in the past seemed insignificant and forgiveness was the only way to go. I accepted the challenge of accepting the faults of others as if they were my own and I've embraced a role that I'm uncertain I can ever give justice to. Yet, my mom's death -- her absence left me no other choice -- left me the best choice -- to open my heart to life's mysteries and surprises and enjoy the ride along with the bumps. As far as I can remember, I only shed tears whenever I miss my mom and wish that she is still beside me to help me. Her loving memory inspires me to live life to the fullest, dance like no one is watching and love like I've never loved before.

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For the next two weeks, I want to spend as much time with my cousins and of course, Tita Tess and Tita Bebot. This may mean that I will get less sleep but a "life" outside the office is very tempting.

Don't get me wrong. I DO have a life. I still have the time to do the things that I like to do. I watch my favorite TV series for hours, read a book, eat, catch a movie, window shop and sleep. It's just that eversince I was transferred to the chat queue, I never really had the energy to do something "ACTIVE". I often spend my weekends at home. I just send messages to most of my friends just to let them know that I am still breathing.

Hopefully, these two weeks will be the start of many weeks that I will have the strength to go out there and reconnect with people other than my family.

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Finally, the Uno Animo reunion will push through this Monday, March 30th at Dad's Glorietta. What a great way to spend a payday -- fun with great friends over good food (hopefully with a cute toy in hand). Yay!!

**watch out for the reunion pics at Vayie's blog. hehehe..

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I might take a few classes this summer while my sister, Josine is on vacation. I want to see if I can still study while working. I know the biggest challenge would be time management and discipline.

I also hope I could still pass for a student. (Trivial, I know.) It would be really embarrassing if the class would think I AM the professor. =P

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If I don't chicken out, I might get another ear piercing this April. It's been 6 years since I last had the upper part of my right ear pierced when emotional pain was too much and physical pain was a refuge.

Since I am, most of the time, giddy (according to Vayie), I now know that I have low tolerance for pain and fear of needles.

Aside from the fact that I couldn't get a tattoo (my dad and my boyfriend would definitely be the first people to be upset), the idea of a needle piercing a section of my body hundreds of times and leaving a permanent work of art (unless, you have the smackaroos to have it remove ala-Claudine Barretto) brings the fascination and the desire to a halt.

I don't know why I suddenly wanted to get a piercing but I am sure I want to. I am not making sense wanting it so I guess I'll just cross my fingers that I'll chicken out.