If I was lucky with finding friends, having a boyfriend is another. Things are not as pleasant before. I have been dumped, cheated on and beaten up, abused, used and humiliated, but still I'm here, ready to love like I've never been hurt before. :D I don't know if I'm hard-headed, stubborn or stupid.. :p Hmm, come to think of it, I'm all of them. Hhahaha...
Like I've mentioned, finding the one true love has been my silent mission since time immemorial since I'm now 26, single but unavailable and doesn't see myself getting hitched anytime soon. I know I'm not getting any younger but I don't want to let other people pressure me for something serious as marriage because there is no turning back. In this day and age of divorce and alimony, I refuse to accept that I will just take the easiest route (to avoid the nagging and the teasing) and risk that I'd be part of the statistics that, though not proven, has certainly affected many innocent lives in the process.
I admit that I didn't make the wisest decisions in the past, probably I made the stupidest, but here I am ready to love. I believe you never choose who to love.. love chooses you.. after the feeling -- the moments of stillness and slow motion -- you then are given the choice to decide -- whether to take this to the next level or not...
Unfortunately, most of the guys that I went out with can not live up to the standards of commitment and forevermore, therefore, my relationships with them had a hard time surviving after a month or two. If categories are based on longevity, they are mere acquaintances. (Can you hear the bitterness in my tone? Hahahaha.. NOT! Most of them are my good friends now.)
Moving on, I guess my wisdom went with my age, which means I'm making wiser and bolder decisions now. I stopped listening to other people and started listening more to my heart and beliefs and principles. Fortunately, I am happier and am able to embrace tragic endings with less drama and fuss. In short, since I have nobody else to blame, I spend less time in the denial stage. I just cry, deal with the pain and move on. Actually, it's a lot easier for my tear ducts and for Mother Nature as I get to save the trees for using less Kleenex.
Intimacy never existed in my relationships before. I used to think that it's okay that I love them or care for them or spendt time with them so long as they never had the chance to hold me or kiss me. I never thought physical intimacy could play a part in building a healthy and fruitful romantic relationship. But don't blame me. That's just my conservative upbringing talking.. then.
So I decided to do a little experiment with my relationships with this "little intimacy, less likely to last longer" theory and surprisingly, it's true. A couple become more open when you sprinkle a little of this and that intimacy. You try!
**trivia: do you know that according to the US Census studies that most couples who ended up getting a divorce are those that never gave blowjobs to each other? Hmmm, think about it, start evaluationg your relationships. :p
Eerr, moving on, if you'll be asking if I am still a V-- the answer is NO. Okay, not ashamed of it and not proud of it either, just stating a fact. But that doesn't mean that it is my ticket to do it everyday with anyone. HELLOOOO!!! I still have my brain and my sanity.
I thought once you start doing it, you'll never stop. Funny thing is.. this is not true. You get tired of it. You sometimes feel that your relationship is no better than what dogs on the streets have. I mean, if you are human enough or intelligent enough to notice, it's quite boring after a while. You're looking for substance and purpose. You just agreed to stop and not do it for a while because there are other things that you enjoy doing with each other. In other words, get busy. :D
Seriously, a healthy sex life is a factor not THE factor but a factor that may make or break a relationship. Ok, maybe not sex, per se but INTIMACY.. there's a thin between sex and intimacy so be sure that both of you are aware of which side you are on to avoid confusion and frustration for either party.
Being intimate with someone and sharing things with him open a lot of opportunity for a couple to become beyond just a couple. You can become best friends, trusted confidantes, critics, lovers, soulmates and family all in one. And I think that is what everyone wants to have in the end -- someone you can call your HOME.
Someone who will make you feel that despite the world's demands and pressures, the people's discrimination and prejudices, you will find yourself safe at the end of the day in his/her loving arms; who will always be there to make you feel that there's another day where you can be better and rise above the mistakes you've made that day; who will assure you that despite your flaws and weaknesses he/she will make it up for you and be your strength; who will smile when everybody else frowns.
I want that HOME..
Like I've mentioned, finding the one true love has been my silent mission since time immemorial since I'm now 26, single but unavailable and doesn't see myself getting hitched anytime soon. I know I'm not getting any younger but I don't want to let other people pressure me for something serious as marriage because there is no turning back. In this day and age of divorce and alimony, I refuse to accept that I will just take the easiest route (to avoid the nagging and the teasing) and risk that I'd be part of the statistics that, though not proven, has certainly affected many innocent lives in the process.
I admit that I didn't make the wisest decisions in the past, probably I made the stupidest, but here I am ready to love. I believe you never choose who to love.. love chooses you.. after the feeling -- the moments of stillness and slow motion -- you then are given the choice to decide -- whether to take this to the next level or not...
Unfortunately, most of the guys that I went out with can not live up to the standards of commitment and forevermore, therefore, my relationships with them had a hard time surviving after a month or two. If categories are based on longevity, they are mere acquaintances. (Can you hear the bitterness in my tone? Hahahaha.. NOT! Most of them are my good friends now.)
Moving on, I guess my wisdom went with my age, which means I'm making wiser and bolder decisions now. I stopped listening to other people and started listening more to my heart and beliefs and principles. Fortunately, I am happier and am able to embrace tragic endings with less drama and fuss. In short, since I have nobody else to blame, I spend less time in the denial stage. I just cry, deal with the pain and move on. Actually, it's a lot easier for my tear ducts and for Mother Nature as I get to save the trees for using less Kleenex.
Intimacy never existed in my relationships before. I used to think that it's okay that I love them or care for them or spendt time with them so long as they never had the chance to hold me or kiss me. I never thought physical intimacy could play a part in building a healthy and fruitful romantic relationship. But don't blame me. That's just my conservative upbringing talking.. then.
So I decided to do a little experiment with my relationships with this "little intimacy, less likely to last longer" theory and surprisingly, it's true. A couple become more open when you sprinkle a little of this and that intimacy. You try!
**trivia: do you know that according to the US Census studies that most couples who ended up getting a divorce are those that never gave blowjobs to each other? Hmmm, think about it, start evaluationg your relationships. :p
Eerr, moving on, if you'll be asking if I am still a V-- the answer is NO. Okay, not ashamed of it and not proud of it either, just stating a fact. But that doesn't mean that it is my ticket to do it everyday with anyone. HELLOOOO!!! I still have my brain and my sanity.
I thought once you start doing it, you'll never stop. Funny thing is.. this is not true. You get tired of it. You sometimes feel that your relationship is no better than what dogs on the streets have. I mean, if you are human enough or intelligent enough to notice, it's quite boring after a while. You're looking for substance and purpose. You just agreed to stop and not do it for a while because there are other things that you enjoy doing with each other. In other words, get busy. :D
Seriously, a healthy sex life is a factor not THE factor but a factor that may make or break a relationship. Ok, maybe not sex, per se but INTIMACY.. there's a thin between sex and intimacy so be sure that both of you are aware of which side you are on to avoid confusion and frustration for either party.
Being intimate with someone and sharing things with him open a lot of opportunity for a couple to become beyond just a couple. You can become best friends, trusted confidantes, critics, lovers, soulmates and family all in one. And I think that is what everyone wants to have in the end -- someone you can call your HOME.
Someone who will make you feel that despite the world's demands and pressures, the people's discrimination and prejudices, you will find yourself safe at the end of the day in his/her loving arms; who will always be there to make you feel that there's another day where you can be better and rise above the mistakes you've made that day; who will assure you that despite your flaws and weaknesses he/she will make it up for you and be your strength; who will smile when everybody else frowns.
I want that HOME..
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