**wala lang.. tamang senti mga girls dito sa ATO Reactive.
I realised that so many things have been happening in the lives of my teammates, and I have no idea what they are ALL about. It's not that I care less or don't care at all, I just don't feel comfortable prying on other people's lives. I do want to know what's going on and I want to be there for them. But first, I want them to know that I want to... I just don't know how...So here!
**This is my share.
The Art Of Letting Go
Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I'd keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more?
How do you leave it in a drawer?
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.
Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more
Wish I could open up that door
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go
Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through
the pain of one more day
Without you
Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I'm learning, only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
2nd Rest Day...NO REST AT ALL
Saturday... my temples are throbbing, I'm awake but my eyes are still aching for another couple of hours of sleep. But I need to start my day ASAP so I can sleep early that night.
ITINERARY FOR SATURDAY:
1. Go to Recto, get the books that I ordered. (Sybil and Sidney Sheldon's Are You Afraid of the Dark?)
2. Go to Timog for my appointment with my Dermatologist
3. Drop by at National Bookstore to file for the renewal of my Laking National Card. (true!)
4. Grocery! Grocery! Grocery! (Yipee!!)
(oh, I almost forgot.. Have lunch?! hehe)
Arrived in Recto around 11.30am, can't wait to see MY books. I know, a lot of people don't share my passion for these wonderful wonders but buying books is one of the reasons why I am always anxious to get my salary. This time, it's Sybil, one book that I know is no longer reprinted. I bought this book for P300. Before it was for sale for P600 and this is a second-hand book. I had to beg Myrna (bookseller) to make it cheaper someday, since lagi naman akong bumibili sa kanya. (Ung 4 kong Harry Potter Hardbound books, sa kanya ko binili at P500 each and other great novels)Guess, I have proven my worth to get this for 300 smackaroos.
**sidetrip -- "Sybil" is a book about a woman named Sybil who has 13 personalities. I haven't read this one, but when I read the Table of Contents of this book, it sent chills deep down. There's a chapter describing the hierarchy of the "selves", their birth and history. (**will tell you more about it soon.)
This is a true story.
I also bought a brand new Sidney Sheldon's "Are you Afraid of the Dark?" for P250. I am so excited because the last time I bought a Sidney Sheldon book was last October, my dream novel, Sands of Time; this book is said to be used by professors in psychology classes today. (Curiosity got the better of me, so I bought it.)
I missed my appointment with my dermatologist, since I need to be at home by 4pm (para sa Wish ko lang. Heheheh, kaya sa susunod na sweldo na lang. c",)) So I just went straight to SM North Edsa to have my Laking NAtional Card (LNC) renewed and buy food.
Had lunch at 3.30pm. Grabe, hilong-hilo na ko.
Went home, read "The Summons" and cried my heart out watching "Wish Ko Lang" Waaaah!! Nakakabilib ang mga bata... Ang lalim na ng pagmamalasakit sa pamilya, kahit para sa kanila na ang bagay na natatanggap nila, ibinabahagi pa rin nila. Haaay.
:'c
ITINERARY FOR SATURDAY:
1. Go to Recto, get the books that I ordered. (Sybil and Sidney Sheldon's Are You Afraid of the Dark?)
2. Go to Timog for my appointment with my Dermatologist
3. Drop by at National Bookstore to file for the renewal of my Laking National Card. (true!)
4. Grocery! Grocery! Grocery! (Yipee!!)
(oh, I almost forgot.. Have lunch?! hehe)
Arrived in Recto around 11.30am, can't wait to see MY books. I know, a lot of people don't share my passion for these wonderful wonders but buying books is one of the reasons why I am always anxious to get my salary. This time, it's Sybil, one book that I know is no longer reprinted. I bought this book for P300. Before it was for sale for P600 and this is a second-hand book. I had to beg Myrna (bookseller) to make it cheaper someday, since lagi naman akong bumibili sa kanya. (Ung 4 kong Harry Potter Hardbound books, sa kanya ko binili at P500 each and other great novels)Guess, I have proven my worth to get this for 300 smackaroos.
**sidetrip -- "Sybil" is a book about a woman named Sybil who has 13 personalities. I haven't read this one, but when I read the Table of Contents of this book, it sent chills deep down. There's a chapter describing the hierarchy of the "selves", their birth and history. (**will tell you more about it soon.)
This is a true story.
I also bought a brand new Sidney Sheldon's "Are you Afraid of the Dark?" for P250. I am so excited because the last time I bought a Sidney Sheldon book was last October, my dream novel, Sands of Time; this book is said to be used by professors in psychology classes today. (Curiosity got the better of me, so I bought it.)
I missed my appointment with my dermatologist, since I need to be at home by 4pm (para sa Wish ko lang. Heheheh, kaya sa susunod na sweldo na lang. c",)) So I just went straight to SM North Edsa to have my Laking NAtional Card (LNC) renewed and buy food.
Had lunch at 3.30pm. Grabe, hilong-hilo na ko.
Went home, read "The Summons" and cried my heart out watching "Wish Ko Lang" Waaaah!! Nakakabilib ang mga bata... Ang lalim na ng pagmamalasakit sa pamilya, kahit para sa kanila na ang bagay na natatanggap nila, ibinabahagi pa rin nila. Haaay.
:'c
busy as a bee
Just came from my off which didn't feel like it. On my 1st rest day, I laundered my clothes, cleaned the refrigerator and took care of the mistakes made on the flyers. Tried to grab a couple of hours of sleep, but I never had the chance as there were a lot of people who came and went who somehow needed something from me.
Plus, my cousin kept texting me, trying to convince me to watch their gig in Timog. I really want to come and give him and his band my support, as I know how it feels coz I've been there - my bandmates have been there... It's just that I was so tired to really go out and have fun.
My boyfriend and I had dinner -- fried luncheon meat and delicious Nido soup (my favorite!!) around 6.30pm while watching the news. After having dinner and watching the news, I continued reading "The Summons" and my boyfriend played NBA Live in his PS2. Shoot!! An omen that this is going to be a boring evening. Hohumm.
Good thing, my bestfriend, Edgran dropped by around 9.30pm. We decided to go to our favorite hang-out in Sikatuna Village -- JAVI'S!! It's a bummer that I already had dinner, so I don't have an excuse to order a porterhouse steak meal. Instead, we ordered Crispy Sizzling sisig (yummy!), Jalapeño Cheese fingers (yummier but super spicy) and sour cream fries (ahhhh, this is the life!) with beer (for Ceasar and Gran) and refillable iced tea (for me!! --Ha! is this my day or what?!)
Then, a great conversation drowned the night, til we realised it's already 2am. We went to Philcoa to pick up JB and we went to our place. We decided to hit the sack when JB and Gran went home to go to Rain's place.
I was really tired. What seemed to be a boring and tiring day turned out to be a day that ended with a great night with friends...
:)
Plus, my cousin kept texting me, trying to convince me to watch their gig in Timog. I really want to come and give him and his band my support, as I know how it feels coz I've been there - my bandmates have been there... It's just that I was so tired to really go out and have fun.
My boyfriend and I had dinner -- fried luncheon meat and delicious Nido soup (my favorite!!) around 6.30pm while watching the news. After having dinner and watching the news, I continued reading "The Summons" and my boyfriend played NBA Live in his PS2. Shoot!! An omen that this is going to be a boring evening. Hohumm.
Good thing, my bestfriend, Edgran dropped by around 9.30pm. We decided to go to our favorite hang-out in Sikatuna Village -- JAVI'S!! It's a bummer that I already had dinner, so I don't have an excuse to order a porterhouse steak meal. Instead, we ordered Crispy Sizzling sisig (yummy!), Jalapeño Cheese fingers (yummier but super spicy) and sour cream fries (ahhhh, this is the life!) with beer (for Ceasar and Gran) and refillable iced tea (for me!! --Ha! is this my day or what?!)
Then, a great conversation drowned the night, til we realised it's already 2am. We went to Philcoa to pick up JB and we went to our place. We decided to hit the sack when JB and Gran went home to go to Rain's place.
I was really tired. What seemed to be a boring and tiring day turned out to be a day that ended with a great night with friends...
:)
Thursday, January 11, 2007
The day before my RD
**this is my last day for this week, it's my day off tomorrow, Friday and Saturday. I feel like I've been passive to the people around me today since I am sleepy the moment I woke up this morning. I can't wait to get home, lay in bed, read finish the book,"The Summons" by John Grisham (Tetay, thank you and sorry for making your book stay with me this long.) and sleep for hours!! Ha!
Hopefully, in the weeks to come, I'll give you some personal reviews on books that I've read or bought. Also, past experiences that will haunt me and my days every now and then. Sounds crazy, but they do. I sometimes find myself crying my heart out to my boyfriend for things that I've accepted, will not change.
Like this one...
I know that I have a great childhood because I was oblivious to things that happened in my family and around me or I was made to be oblivious to them. But now that I am all grown-up, I realised that I have so many things to say to my mom, my dad, my aunties, my brother, my titas, my sister --- but I was made to believe that I should not feel such emotions as I will disappoint a lot of them. Only to find out in the end that I can actually feel them and it's not bad because feeling such things is a giant step towards healing. Maybe that's why I kept looking back to the past or it's the past that kept haunting me because I never fully recovered because I never truly faced them. Hmmm, thinking about changing this situation -- meaning telling these feelings to their face, I'm not sure if they can actually handle them --the bottled-up anger, hidden insanity and frustration, regrets, blame and hopes that never found their way out.
In the coming weeks, I'll be more specific as they come.
But for now, I'm tired, exhausted and sleepy.
hoohhuuuummm...
zzzzzzzzzzzz............
Hopefully, in the weeks to come, I'll give you some personal reviews on books that I've read or bought. Also, past experiences that will haunt me and my days every now and then. Sounds crazy, but they do. I sometimes find myself crying my heart out to my boyfriend for things that I've accepted, will not change.
Like this one...
I know that I have a great childhood because I was oblivious to things that happened in my family and around me or I was made to be oblivious to them. But now that I am all grown-up, I realised that I have so many things to say to my mom, my dad, my aunties, my brother, my titas, my sister --- but I was made to believe that I should not feel such emotions as I will disappoint a lot of them. Only to find out in the end that I can actually feel them and it's not bad because feeling such things is a giant step towards healing. Maybe that's why I kept looking back to the past or it's the past that kept haunting me because I never fully recovered because I never truly faced them. Hmmm, thinking about changing this situation -- meaning telling these feelings to their face, I'm not sure if they can actually handle them --the bottled-up anger, hidden insanity and frustration, regrets, blame and hopes that never found their way out.
In the coming weeks, I'll be more specific as they come.
But for now, I'm tired, exhausted and sleepy.
hoohhuuuummm...
zzzzzzzzzzzz............
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
not in the mood
**no decent sleep since Friday
**I fell asleep on the bus on my way to work
**my back is aching.
**queue empty at 10am
**nothing to read, left my book at home
**no emails to send
**eating is a chore
**good thing, I got a good CSAT score for the 3rd week of December :)
**a quiet production floor for ATO Reactive (morning shift)
**heard Olekeki snoring (peace!)
**I miss my boyfriend
**wonder what and where will eat this Friday
**can't wait to visit MV Doulos
**can't wait to see "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros"
**my head aches, have to wear my glasses
**remembered I have bills to pay next week
**need to pick up my reserved books in Recto next week
**I miss my bed and my 4 pillows
**I missed watching the ER rerun last night, must watch it tonight if I'm still awake
**I need to have my Laking National card renewed next week
**this is such a lousy day
hohummmmm...
zzzzzzzzzzz.....
**I fell asleep on the bus on my way to work
**my back is aching.
**queue empty at 10am
**nothing to read, left my book at home
**no emails to send
**eating is a chore
**good thing, I got a good CSAT score for the 3rd week of December :)
**a quiet production floor for ATO Reactive (morning shift)
**heard Olekeki snoring (peace!)
**I miss my boyfriend
**wonder what and where will eat this Friday
**can't wait to visit MV Doulos
**can't wait to see "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros"
**my head aches, have to wear my glasses
**remembered I have bills to pay next week
**need to pick up my reserved books in Recto next week
**I miss my bed and my 4 pillows
**I missed watching the ER rerun last night, must watch it tonight if I'm still awake
**I need to have my Laking National card renewed next week
**this is such a lousy day
hohummmmm...
zzzzzzzzzzz.....
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