Saturday, June 28, 2008

Home Sweet Home

We are finally moving to our new place. it's not as nice as the one were leaving but it'll definitely give us the peace that I have not had in the past month.

It's tiring, but I welcome it because I know that at the end of the frantic tasks of packing, unpacking and arranging, we will eventually call this humble place our new HOME!!

weird PDA scholar

I find LAARNI, one of the PDA scholars for 2008, really weird. At age 22, I think she's going through this MAJOR, and I mean MAJOR identity crisis. She's insecure and almost always feel that she doesn't belong. But sometimes she'd be so confident to run around like a child in the Academy, thinking it's cute (but, believe me, it's NOT --- SO NOT) or dance like Shakira in front of the other scholars.

I mean, it's nice to be around fun-loving people. They emit positive vibes around them. Ang problema kay Laarni, pag napagsasabihan siya, dinadaan niya kaagad sa iyak at iniisip na inaapi siya. Feeling pa niya, narrow-minded ang mga tao na pinagsasabihan siya.

Too bad, she was saved from being expelled this week after Chivas (one of my bets) was given the forced expulsion due to health reasons. SAYANG TALAGA!!! Nakakairita na kasi yung drama niya.

I just hope her stay will help her grow up and mature, or else, PDA should have psychological tests administered to all qualified competitors.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

L.A. will be back

I got superexcited when I received a message from my best friend, Edgran, that L.A. will come visit us again on July 24. This time, she will be with Gener, her fiance (Congratulations!!) and will stay here for 20 days. I'm happy that I will get to spend quality time with my high school buddies once again. I just hope we will also get news about Apple and when she will be coming home as I miss my Badtz badly too. =(

Looking forward to a grand time with the gang next month!!

Happy Father's Day

I hate to admit it but I don't spend a lot of time with the only parent that I have -- my Dad. But last Sunday, June 15, was his very special day, and my brother's (RJ), too since he is a father to my energetic nephew, Kmart (Kenyon Martin Barranda Divina), who is turning two on July 6. So I took this opportunity to make him to feel special on Father's Day.

We (RJ, Josine and I) were supposed to surprise my Dad but he texted me last Thursday, asking me if we will come and visit him on Sunday. Knowing my Dad, if you told him that you will not be there, he will make other plans, so surprising him after he asked that question is really not a good idea. I think he appreciated the thought that we will be there, at least he has something to look forward to on Sunday.

Bought a cake. Texted everyone to make sure they're all ready. Dada wanted us to go straight to church and attend mass, sadly, we were late as usual. Thanks to Ceasar and RJ. =)

We arrived at around 5.30pm at Dada's place. To our surprise, pupunta daw kami sa Baliwag restaurant. Hahaha!!! Saya, i've been wanting to eat liempo and pinakbet for days.

We had a blast. It's so nice to spend time and eat good food with the whole family. We had pinakbet, liempo, lechon manok, shrimps, bulalo and lots of rice. At siyempre, refillable iced tea!!!

Arjay, Josine and Ceasar almost had a heart attack.. hahaha.. Lahat daw kasi masarap. At chocolate ice cream pa for dessert. Josine had 3 servings. Good luck sa t-shirt na naging tight fitting shirt after 45 minutes. Takaw kasi. Sabi tuloy ni Dada kay Josine, "ano ba yan, anak? Magkasing laki na kayo ng tiyan ni JV?!" Of course, Josine didn't take it as a compliment, so this weekend, she's taking another dose of her Biguerlai slimming tea. Haha!! Crazy gal!

We all walked home to aid in our digestion cause we're sooo stuffed. Ceasar and I watched PBA with Dada, while the others were either playing, chatting and watching another show.

It was a blast!! I am sure we all had fun -- that we're looking forward to our next special get-together -- Kmart's 2nd birthday!!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

the day after

I feel better today. I feel that my anger towards this girl is easing its way out of my system. Of course, emotions do rush inside me when I see her, but it was a conscious decision on my part to not let her and her presence affect me or ruin my days. It takes a lot of effort and self-control to do this but if I was able to do this before, I'm sure I can do this again. Besides, she doesn't deserve my time and energy. I could allot them to more meaningful and worthy people and endeavors.

I'm looking forward to our new home. Actually, we all are. Living with her took a toll on all of us. We are fortunate that we don't have to live with her and her ways forever. She's almost like a burden you can't get off your back. I only enjoy a few pleasures in life -- and one of them is coming home to a peaceful place. I work hard and so I deserve to have a home that serves as my refuge from the demands of this world. I won't let anyone deprive me of that pleasure.

I know that someday I will find it in my heart to delete my entries about her. I will never forget but I know I can forgive -- someday. Or I'll keep them as a reminder of how "juvenile" (pahiram muna ng word ulit, Vayie! =D) the fight was and how embarrassing it was to be a part of it. Hopefully, we'll just laugh our hearts out while reading it, but I doubt it since I know how hurtful my words are. Still, I know someday, things will be better. We can no longer be friends, but hey, it's a small world, after all, there is still a big chance that we will bump into each other. I hope when that time comes, we can then share a smile.

So for now, dedma talaga!! Yoko ng away. Negative vibes should not be entertained. If she's still mad, I just hope she does it in silence.

For the next two weeks, we'll all be busy looking for a new place that's as good as where we live now but cheaper.

In 16 days, we will have peace, FINALLY!!

Friday, June 13, 2008

For a pair of sandals...

For a pair of sandals, I now fear for my safety. I was accused by someone for cutting the straps of her sandals. I was shocked by this girl's nerve to even think that I would stoop that low just to get even with her.

I admit, her mere presence is repulsing for me. She is useless at home, she simply just takes up space. She uses her boyfriend who is so nice and hardworking while she enjoys sexy time with another. She's stupid enough to make the most shallow excuses just to cover her trysts with another guy. Unfortunately, her boyfriend believed her every word. He has been open to us about his own suspicions but he himself is in denial that his goody goody girlfriend can do that to him. Reality check, dude, she's doing it to you as of the moment.

She found her sandals all cut up, and immediately thought of me doing it. She even had her boyfriend confront mine about it. My boyfriend didn't deny that I had ill-feeling towards her. I may be easily annoyed by people's flaws but that doesn't mean I'm that stupid to do something that will point directly at me. Too bad, we have scissors, they don't but that doesn't mean I did it. Logic, my dear, but I bet you don't have common sense. It is unfortunate that your lover can't buy you that.

I'm scared of this girl. The lowest of the low. If you look at her, she looks mahinhin, but I warn you she's one gold digger, user and a sanggano. She showed more concern over material things than relationships. She's unbelievable!!!

At nagdadabog pa siya kagabi. I had enough of it. Rude talaga!! When she heard me call her bastos, she then shouted, "SINIRA MO SANDALS KO!!" Fuck you!! Mahiya ka sa balat mo!! Show proof that I did it, but you won't be able to do so because I didn't! Baka pati mga espiritu sa bahay galit na sa yo at sa katamaran mo!! So don't take it out on me. And if you want another excuse para makauwi ka ng gabi, well, please not at my expense, slut!! Matagal na akong asar sa yo but you're lucky that you have a good boyfriend, I respect him and he's like a brother to me kaya hindi kita inaano. Besides, you're so stupid to not realise that. Masyadong mababa tingin mo sa boyfriend mo, tingin mo mas nagugustuhan ka ng tao, well sorry to disappoint you, my dear, mas matotolerate ko pa ang pagiging alcoholic ng bf mo kesa ang pagiging social climber mo. Hindi ka naman makakabili ng mga gamit mo kung wala kang ibang lalaki.

Now I fear for my safety. On my way to work today, I found this motorcycle parked at the bank across the street where I usually wait for a bus. I am certain, the guy on it was staring at me. When the guy saw that I wasn't alone, (I was with Ceasar), he immediately left while still staring at us. Call me paranoid, but I'd rather be one than dead.

If something bad happens to me, my boyfriend definitely knows who's responsible for it. kaya lang ang cheap ng fight na to, 'no, over sandals na hindi naman mahal at maganda. El cheapo naman. hay!! magkakaroon lang ako ng kaaway yung bobo pa, yung hindi marunong magmeasure ng value ng mga bagay-bagay. Aaaargh!!

I warn you guys, don't fight with stupid girls. It's not worth it. I'll ignore her and her ka-cheap-an from now on again. I just hope she'll have enough brain cells to realise na ang pangit ng away na to!!

For a pair of sandals, my safety and peace of mind is compromised. I hate it. I'm scared. I want this to stop.

Monday, June 9, 2008

compo



i'm trapped in these walls called love

never cry over things never meant for me

put myself in the losing end

coz you're just worth it, worth the risk



in the absence of certainty

i am sure



i don't want to say goodbye,

i can't and i won't

i will never ask questions

for answers i am not ready to hear,

not ready to handle



who i am and what i have

i lost myself



love means never having to say you're sorry

but i'm sorry you're not the one for me

i'm sorry that things don't go our way

still, i can't let go, won't let go

kompo: CLOSET



bilanggo sa katotohanan,

kahit saang anggulo tignan

hindi maibahagi, hindi maisiwalat

(pag-ibig ko sa yong tapat/tapang ko ay hindi sapat)



kaligayahan ko'y aking kasiraan

unti-unting nalulunod, tila di makahinga

nakakulong sa sarili kong mundo

lumuluhang mag-isa



di alam kung may makakaunawa

dalangin ko'y inog ng mundo'y mag-iba

bigyan ako ng pag-asa

Makamtan ang kaligayahan

ninanais, inaasam



mahagkan ang yong labi

maangkin ang iyong puso

mahawakan ang iyong kamay

makita ka, makasama ka



ngunit kay lupit ng mundo

kahit saglit na mahalaga

tila ako'y mabibigo

na makuha

Poetic justice to a bleeding soul.. hehehe..

visions...
visions I want to remain
visions I want to fade away as they bring so much pain

souvenirs and tokens of love that could never be
some tangible, some not
yet they bring lasting memories that never want to leave

words may be enough
but your love is all I want

I've held your hand, kissed your lips
Felt your breath on my skin
But I know, I'll never have your heart.

please let me go
or let me in
either way, i'll seek refuge in myself

you're free
soon, you'll no longer be
another hurt, another wish to be numb

couldn't hate you
coz you're oblivious
to this feeling burning in me

i want to see what's ahead of me
desperate in saving my tears
for something I can't have
-- I almost have